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welcome

Ola! This is my Blog, and obviously it's cute, i know. So much for the bragging part, As i stated, this is MINE and so as the contents. Everything that's seen here is my property (unless stated not) and you cannot rip them, unless permitted.
If you're not interested at all, you can simply escape this humiliation you're getting yourself into and press the "x" button on the top right portion of your page. Thank you. :)

Linkies
A
Andi .
B
C
CJ .Ces .
D
Darlene/Phoo .
E
Eunice .Ethel .
F
Frederica .
G
H
I
J
Jia .
K
Kateey .
L
Louise .
M
Mafel .Malenn . Miles .
N
O
P
Q
R
Renee . Resma . Regina .
S
T
Tania .
U
V
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X
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Z
Cried him a river

The worst ever habit i have is, crying. I've turned into this crybaby. HAHA. I cry even for the most shallowest things done by him. Bsta, i cry. Un na un. That's my point!

Lately i've been in this crying situation again, and it just sucked so much. But on the bright side, i felt better after the session and proved his much more deeper love for me. And the story goes..

Wala, textmate lang. Binigdeal ko! Well, i'm really that kind of a jealous girlfriend. Sobrang selosa ako. And it just hurted so much cause it felt like he was tryna' get rid of me in any way kasi he had this textmate back in our "fight" days noong pagdiriwang. So i felt so bad, and i mean so baaaad! At first i thought i could get through what im feeling without shedding a tear or two, but i failed. I stayed quiet hugging him and after like a moment, tears just kept flowing on and on and on... I'm not mad at him or anything but i am soooo jealous and sobrang hurt ko. I never thought he'd do such thing even if it was just a textmate. I still find it huge of a deal. He was getting all worried and keeps on nagging me to tell him what was up, if i was mad or anything else. He just looked so sincere and there was i, continuing my drama scene! He hugged me so tight, told me he was utterly sorry.. Kissed me sooo long and just stared deep in my eyes. It was my best drama scene so far. But that scene didn't keep me from bursting these tears out, Still.

Until i felt fine na and told him what was up with me, and how i felt about it. He eventually deleted the "contact" (hopefully) and told me his sincerest sorry and promised something. It was then i found out i cried for a thing that was so not worth crying. Without knowing the full details would really make you feel bad if you were in my shoes, but when he told me his SHORT story about it, i just saw myself laughing at my previous self. But in some way, i still find what i did was good, right and worth it. Cause for a shallow-cryer like me, it's worth shedding tears for. The "detail" was; they only exchanged about 10 sms. That's it. So wasn't i over reacting?

I guess yes but i hope not. It still hurts a bit even though it's just that. But yeah, im soo fragile.


Goodnight. :)

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Quarrel

Un, nagaway kami. sobrang sad ko. Details;

Kasi parati nalang, everytime na nagpapromise sya, laging hindi natutupad, so nakakaasar na tlga hanggang sa naulit nanaman. Kagabi? Ay hindi, nung isang gabi.

After Our dance performance mineet ko sya. Nagpromise sya na he won't smoke na. So there. Eh naamoy ko. So nabadtrip na ko. Yung tipong pagod na pagod na ko, mababadtrip pa ko. So sobrang panget ng mood ko. Halos sumigaw na ko, ewan! Kahit na anong gawin nyang pampatawa, hindi tlga nagwork. Hangang sa time to go home na, sabi ko umuwi na sya. AYAW! So what he did is pinaniwala nya kong uuwi na sya. Nung nasa tricycle, nagsosorry na ko and all kasi feeling ko Sobrang OVER ako. Which is partially right naman. Pero No reaction naman sya. Wala na kong magawa. Sobrang down na down na ko. Kiniss ko sya, as in ako lang nagkiss. Tapos bumaba na. Pinaderetso nya ung trike para isipin ko umuwi na sya.

But HELL NO. Mga 12 Something, Nawrong send sya. But before that nagtext ako ulit ng "sorry" but no reply. Tpos un nga na Wrong send Something like.. "wag mo sasabhin kay nina ha, nagaway kasi kami eh" So syempre magdududa ka. Nung una cool pa ko with it, kasi naisip ko baka nagshashot lang. Pero hindi, pumunta ng balibago (place of pokshits and clubs) and i don't know what else! Sobrang GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. K.

Hangang ngayon, No anything. No talk, no anything nga. Badtrip.



Sobrang sober ko na galit. Kahit na gusto ko magsorry, wala naman akong fault. Echepwera lang naman ako lagi sakanya. Hindi ko na ieelaborate ung, latest kong nalaman at nagiging furious ako. :|

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5 days before christmas

I woke up early today. I don't know why, but i slept real late last night. The first thing i did was read my e-book, Twilight. I'm done with the 10-page (i think) 1st chapter. I've decided to read atleast one chapter a day to be able to finish the book withing 24 days. :) The 1st chapter was quiet familiar since i watched the movie (i think everything will be quiet familiar naman. haha.)

It's 5 days before Christmas and i want to receive lots of gifts. I know i would hardly receive any since my relatives think im BIG now, rather than that kid they used to love those days, i was so cute then! (oh well, im pretty na. NOW) Sana i could be with him on this special day, that would be so sweet. Our first Christmas together as a couple. O dba. So much for fantasies, it can't happen. (ahayy..) I shouldn't be sober. I should be happy pa nga kasi masaya sya dun, but i can't help being a little emotional at times. Haha! (ang babaw!) I'm a bit too worried baka kasi naughty sya dun, or he's drinking too much or puffs a lot. I trust him naman, but i have this instincts/worries/mights. (yea, we have this girlfriend-instincts nowadays:)

I'm really acting eerie. I'm not his mother anyway. I trust him PERIOD. End of story. I know, He won't act foolish and won't dissappoint me. I know it, He loves me enough. I've been blogging about this insecurities of mine all throughout this week! It's ruining the Should-be-joyful atmosphere in here. I'm not really insecure or what, i'm just PARAAAANNNOOOOIIIDDD.
It sucks. Really.

I'm acting like this all because i don't have anything to focus my attention on. If only i can go out with friends, I can but i don't have bucks. Bored, that's all i am and will be this vacation. I think it's a bit too long. Haha! And when classes resume, for sure i'll be disoriented. I think everyone will be. I wanna do something fun, recreational and time consuming. I wonder WHAT it is.

Darlene is so mean for posting on her blog that she knew my secret. Yea, i know it's unexpected for her to know cause she thought i was this good girl. HAHA! Oh well, i trust her enough so i told her. Love ko sya eh.


Ciao!

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"almost break up"

Yesterday was such a day! (I meant yesterday's yesterday -- so technically, it's the OTHER DAY) so much for elaborating. But yeah, it's not a "day" for a good reason but for a bad one. It was fucked up! But before all the bad stuff, i want you all to know that i have a bruised and bloated right hand. Haha! Kasi Myko and I were playing this KETCHUP game. Haha. Alam mo yon? ;p

Twas late afternoon when things got a little awkward. We fought about this shallow thing and was dug deep prior to this "something" he knew from a friend which was not true. And wtf, he believed it. So he got mad and stuff, acting like i've got this huge fault but really,
i didn't do anything, and to think, this "thing" wasn't even true!
I talked to him and seemed like i was talking to the air. I just can't stop the tears from falling, until i saw myself crying before him. It hurted like hell, well ofcourse his in doubt of what im telling him. He believes the other person more than his girlfriend. He wanted to break up with me. It's the feeling of being.. unloved?.. or.. oh well, can't find the right word. He walked out and i chased him. I pulled his arm and he turned around. I was crying, crying everything out. (to think that we were in school haha)
He just looked at me. Stared deep in my eyes. Tapos he held me, said sorry, and hugged.
I didn't stop crying there. Eh kasi naman naiiyak talaga ako! We went to my place and talked. Umiyak nanaman ako. Wtf. Until I stopped and both sides said everything. So yun, naayos din.

The next day, my eyes were SORE. O_O and...

He was cold. :| It wasn't really about me, it's more like his personal problem that he won't bother to share. I was totally clueless and asking what's wrong all the fucking time. He won't really tell me. So i let him.. It was awkward. Yea, im his gf and i know nothing about it. While his friends know. It's unfair. He told me he won't be attending the xmas party. I got dissapointed. Ofcourse it wouldn't be a party for me without him. :| Uuwe na daw kasi sya ng tarlac the day before the party. For some reason... He wanted me to understand. But how could i? If i know nothing about what's going on? It's 1 day to spare yet he couldn't. I was forcing him to leave after the xmas party instead but he insists. Ofcourse i was sad and all. We talked at my place again and i started crying again for some reason.. (I cry all the time you see.. Haha!) Again he was looking deep into my eyes, seriously. Then he just burst out this smile and had me laughing with my eyes filled. Haha! And weird talaga namin. Haha. I think naconvince co na sya about leaving after the party.



Thank God. Amen. ;)

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I cut myself. ;(

i cut myself. ;( Galos lang naman. Sa ring finger. But it hurts though. How dumb was i. :| I was kinda cleansing the mirror kasi may moist then ung gilid ng mirror, un nagasgas. It's not really something huge and deep, but it's mahapdi. Well so much about my bubu. >:P (rugrats term)

I still don't have anything to wear for christmas party, and still have no bucks. So how's that. I can't wear the new dresses that i bought kasi sleeveless clothes are made bawal na. So suckiy. Very! Im planning to buy na lang on saturday pero san ako kukuha ng pera? Sana natatae ang pera. ;( HAHA!

Okay, puro problema ang blogpost ko ngayon. On the bright side, Congrats to Manny Pekyaw for winning his recent battle with Dela Hoya. Twas great! Though Dela Hoya's waaaaaaaay pogi than him, he's still tougher. Oh well. ;p And Myko and i were both perfect in out recent Chem Quiz 50/50. Bakit ang galing namin diba? ;p

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Plurk!

I have my Plurk na.



& i just wanna share that the Letter "V" on my keyboard is just scotched tape. Well, Idk. I know it's detachable, but it won't get back to it's place.Err. Now it's a difficulty pressing it. :| Suckiy letter V much..

And i'll have my check-up tomorrow, regarding my high blood pressure.. It's been ages na since i had my last doctor appointment. :)

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High BP ako!

Haha. Gusto ko lang ishare na ang taas ng blood pressure ko. Normal is 120/80.. Aken, 180/110.
So ano yun. =))) malapit na kong mamatay. (yuck, exagg na.)

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Sunday Bonding.

Because we weren't together from tuesday to wednesday parang binawi ko lang. :)) from thursday onwards until today, consistent and straight (except na lang mga uwian) magksma kme. :P

I would like to congratulate DARLENE for being an ate nanaman :D whew, responsibilities! :)))

Tomorrow is monday. And I hate mondays. I'll be competing for the Grammar Quiz whatever on 19 and for the powerpoint presentation as well. :) wish me luck. It would be better if i'll be the one for competing for the essay writing nalang eh. :| I really wanted that! I guess my english teacher haven't read my essays yet, since we don't do those on her subject. Hoho!

My tummy grows bigger everyday. HAHA! Lol, it's not because i'm pregnant, the reason is simply alcohol. Haha. I think.. Or larger appetite i guess?


ALL HAIL THE BIG TUMMY. HAHAHAHAHA. YUCK.

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Stucked

Im all stucked in our home. :| I'm sooo not permitted to go out, even just to got to my friend's pad. So suckiy. Im wasting the 2 day typhoon nina-holiday. Thanks to my name, im so bored.

I've been missing him so badly that's why i asked him if he wanted to go here knina. And he did. xD My mom almost got mad at me nanaman for not following her instructions. :| Eh, KJ kaya. I thought classes will be resumed tomorrow (or today since it's 2:41 am) but i was wrong. I wonder what im gonna do. I'm so effin bored here. I wanna go out. Or maybe just see him ^^

Lol. Insane enuff? I'm sleepy.

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panic!

Today is random. Everyday's random but today's much more. Everyone was required to go to school wearing pants and class shirts. It's for the awarding (the very late awarding) held this morning. I received two medals, silver and bronze. Should've done better for the gold eh?

As expected, Myko didn't attend the morning sessions. Even if he promised me he would. It was fine though, i expected it would be broken in the first place, and it wasn't anything major. He was supposed to be there cause Barcelona won 3rd for badminton doubles boys and he was one of the players. We had a proxy nalang.

I didn't thought he would go to school pa. Kasi i know him. Tamad sa lahat ng tamad. Then by lunch time, i saw him. Twas a bit awkward cos we just fought the night before and he was really cold that night. But it turned out alright.

I was so... nervous. Why? It was due to my absence in ma'am ginny's class. I cut class. Instead of staying inside the classroom and waited for her because we had our 4-5pm sched class yesterday, i just stayed with my friends. I was really in a bad mood then. Yesterday isn't made for me, it wasn't my day. All the bad luck in the world was cursed unto me. (exagg!) I cried twice. Same reason, same person. ;) Though it wasn't really good, i proved something and that just made me joyous. Back to the topic, ma'am ginny got mad at me knowing i wasn't present and Myko as well, but we weren't together that time. Kasi war kami nun. Kanina, she saw me.. and she pointed at me telling me "wag ka na papasok sa subject ko!". I was like.. "ma'am bakit?" Haha. She just turned her back on me and continued walking.

At dahil pala war kami ni Myko kahapon, I wasn't calm while i was with friends. So what i did was i bought credits using my LAST 30 bucks. As in i have no money for fare na. I called him up. Still not convinced and contented that "that" was enough, i went to his place. I just can't see myself thinking about him while we're in WAR mode. I tend to get my eyes filled. When i arrived there, we talked and was "okay." My mom even called him up while we were in the tricycol. And when we arrived at my pad, it was libre sermon. :))) And that night, we fought again. And he made me cry like hell. (But he didn't know)
I am very happy today. I really felt the love i really wanted to feel in the first place. Though i got a little too paranoid just a while ago, i'm very much satisfied now and calm. Why? Cos he was out with his friends and promised me to be home before 9 pm. Actually, that was originally 8 pm but i think i'm being a little too kill joy, so i told him up to 9 would be enough time. They bonded and got somewhat drunk. I was home, lying on the sofa, sleeping. It wasn't consistent though. He flew away from his friend's pad by 9:30 and i got dissapointed, ofcourse. He phone has empty battery, so i just waited for him to text me when he gets home. Hours passed still no anything. I've been trying to call him but all i get was operator chorvas. Until 11 striked and i decided to sms his lola. Good thing i asked him her number before we went separate ways. I asked her if he's home already. She said he wasn't and that's when things got a little steamy and i started panicing. I was so paranoid. I was texting his friends and asked them if he was still with them.. I think i was a little over acting but it was reasonable mehn. Just now, 12 am.. He messaged me on YM. i was so glad. I was so relieved. Cos i've been thinking about him all the fuckin time. And I was so worried. All he did was said sorry. And i felt he really was. I didn't bother to get mad at him anymore cos nothing good would happen anyway. So i just got myself to understand the situation. And i'm just so happy. :)


BTW, we took lots of pictures knina. :D
(here are some)



SA CORRIDOR


cute ako dito. haha.

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one emo day

dalawang beses ako umiyak ngayong araw na to. at naprove ko sa sarili ko na ayoko tlga at di ko kayang mawala sya sakin. for real.



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Gusto mo, pero.

iniisip ko pa kng magbablog ba ko eh. naiiyak ako ngayon! =(( fuck life. BAKIT GANUN? Kung kelan akala mo lahat okay na saka magbebreak down lahat sa harapan mo. Talagang kailangan ganon? It hurts like hell mehn!

Gusto mo umiyak pero sadyang ayaw mong mawalan ng lakas ng loob. Gusto mo pa ipaglaban kahit na kitang kita mo nang walang pag-asa. Gusto mo magantay kahit alam mong nagaantay ka lang sa wala. Bakit kasi SAKANYA pa?

Di ko ba deserve yung mga taong mahal ko? :|


**minsan, mapapaisip ka talaga.

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Superhu MEHN! :P


Panay icons aah. Haha. Long time no blog. 2 days? lol. Yesterday was a very "risky" day. Wala lang. Kasi first time ko umuwi ng almost 9 pm. Haha. achievement ko na yun! Went to bon's crib. (:

Masaya naman. Few talks and gaguhanS. Not very much happy with "my" issue, pero, let it be. If it's not meant to be, it won't happen. And i should not expect at the first place cos he did not tell me to and not even making me feel like it. Maybe, just maybe, he's not for me. :P Haha. But let me fool around first if ever. Enjoy enjoy muna. Sabi nga ni bon "masasaktan ka nyan sa hule." Sagot ko? "Okay lang, sa hule pa naman eh." O diba. What a dumb answer mehn. :P

I was happy cause i got to bond with him knowing na it's not really FOR REAL. :D atleast, i thought it was. HAHA. Medyo mahirap din sakin un, pero masaya naman noh! Saka, PLAY WITH FIRE mehn! :)))) Pag napaso ka, Okay lang un. Para may thrill. dubha dubha? :P


kababa :P


sura na! :)))


di naman ako putol..

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Pasa mehn!

Super pasa mode ang bodei co. Grrr. Sakit pramis.

MEHN MEHN MEHN! =)))))


Lab co darlene. :P hahaha. special mention? Hindi, loko lang un. xD

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Pake ko?

Went to SM PAMP Last saturdady and conducted some interview for our proj sa the. ;D Was not as good as i expected. And Some Companies didn't even allow us to. Mejo snobbish. Saka may limitations halos. Wala mang kwenta ung interview. VERY INFORMAL. After that, went to the movies with par. Hoho, Don't Mess with the Zohan. ;D ANG GAGO NUN! haha. Nakakatawa.

Sunday was a very tiresome day. Whole day practice naman. :)) Kinabukasan, My body was super achin. xD Must love dancing. HAHA. Laughtrip kari kuya tan at joykel? joikel? spelling? haha. Bsta super funn. ;D Cartwheel? Nako. Ewan ko bat kung bakit hindi ko nanaman sya magawa. Samantalang nung Friday ba yun, Nagpractice ako, And According to my MOM, straight legs na daw.

Ngayon, every time i attempt to do so, bigla nlng magsasnap legs ko, tapos sobrang sakit. GRRR! FCUK LIFE.


Tapos eto pa, nung monday habang paakyat, kasabay ko si vinka. I was CLUELESS na si ANO nasa likod namin. Tapos humirit si vinka, "Uy nina si ANO oh.." Sabi ko.. "PAKI KO." HAHAHAHA.

Ewan ko kung narinig nya. Hha. Ang cruel ko? Past it past babe.

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Chicharon

Why? Did i have to fall inlove with you? lol. now playing. HAHA.

It's 11 na. And not sleepy yet. Cartwheel thing? Almost there! Feeling co, nagiba ung galaw ko sa sayaw. Parang badtrip. Wala lang. dapat ayusin ko na pag practice. Kasi baka mawala ako dun sa TEN. Wolo long. :|

Medyo Hectic ang sched ko ngayon. Haha. Artista?

Laging Occupied and after-classes hours ko. Tapos Weekends, Practice. Di ko na nga alam kung paano ko isisingit ang PROJECTS. :| Tomorrow, isastrive namin ang THE business ineterview thing.

Yung Chem at social projects wala pang PLANO. Sa 16 na lahat un! :|

Hindi ako pwede sa sunday. Whole day akong wala. Monday? Hindi rin. Practice siguro. At ang next weekends, pasahan na nun! Eh next week test na eh. :|


Shit.

Bakit chicharon ang title? Kasi kumaen kami ng maramng maraming chicharon kanina. Kaya di na ko nagdinner. Tapos uminom pa ko ng 2 boteng soft drinks kaya ang sakit ng sikmura ko. Nabigla siguro. Kasi almost 6 months na ko hindi umiinom ng soft drinks. Haha.


Gago eh. :|

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07-08-08

Ang Lamig. Parang May i-snow. Hha. =D Bukas na ang 08-08-2008 at wala akong boyfriend. =( Eh kasi, promise ko sa sarili ko, sa exactong 08-08-08 mag bbf ako. Hha. Sorry na lang para sakin.

09-09-09 nalang.. Bakit ganun? Unfair. Haha. Tuwing nafafall ako sa isang guy, laging.. "joke". Hha. Sadya ba tlgang hindi tinadhana na mafall ako sa tamang guy? Kasi JOKE lahat eh. Kumbaga, trip lang. HHA. parang gago.

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Can I?

Can i like fall inlove now? Hahaha. Can i? Can I? =D Yuck. desperate. But i think i'm liking someone. Don't ask me who, cause i won't tell. So asking me would just waste you energy and saliva as well. ;) wink,!

We should've practiced for the cheerdance today but kuya than canceled it. LAST MINUTE cancellation eh? Twas sucky kasi gusto ko magpractice. But mas sucky cos i can't do the HELICOPTER thing. I think just so heavy i can't lift myself. I always trip and fall. Lol. So much for overweight people. :| Hha.

I hate it. Even the cartwheel thing, still can't do it. I've stumbled for like a million times now, but still i continue to be so lame. EXAGG! =DDDD

I walked while twas raining, so blame my feet if i get colds. x] Went tambay sa court ng LNS.. and met par there. We strolled around with my very heavy baggage. Suckiy! And now, my feet hurts like hell. Hoho.


nighty tights. =D

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Absentee

Skipped school today due to the urge of expanding my sleep and also to my achey breakin bodei. Twas very rainy, and ang sarap matulog. Everytime i lie, I fall asleep. Hoho. My classmates got their test on Geometry, and i probably would just take a special exam because i am special. Lol.

My mother did not comment or anything on my absence in school today. I even asked her Yesternight if i could just go to school by lunch (halfday) then she even told me.. Why not rest for the whole day nlng? :)))) Kaya love ko ermat ko eh. Pero I insisted. Sabi ko "eh papasok ako ng lunch.." Pero i ended up having my butt on the bed. lul.

Andame ko nakaen ngayong araw na to.. At very suckiy. Ang appetite ko ay GRABE. Parang gusto ko na kumaen ng tao. I ate..

- CORNED BEEF w/rice
- MILO AND NIDO powder (nagpapak ako.)
- SPAGHETTI
- PIZZA
- KAKANIN
- BULANGLANG w/rice
- OISHI na may rice. HAHAHA. :)))))



TAKAW MUCH? :P

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Better off without you. :D

Random day but fun. HAHA. syempre may nagchange pero, same same parin. I'm still and always happy. I'm never gonna be bugged off by that. (whatever "that" is.) Nasa mood ako magkwento kaya sige. :D

Kahit "confidential", cge eh nasa mood nga eh! kulet.

Kasi some people just can't be distinguished if they're foolin around or ain't. Kasi sa super "joker" ever, di mo alam kung when sya serious. Lahat nalang JOKE, kaya lahat titreat mo na JOKE din diba? Go with the flow mehn. Ayun, one time may bumanat ako ng joke na pambara. Nainis. HAHA! anu naman kaya malay ko na seryoso sya? :S Saka, i didn't mean anything. Kung pikon sya, edi mapikon sya. Perfect ba sya? Saka na sya gumanon pag perpekto na sya. LOL. Kapag sya nagkakamali, Skin, ok lang. Kahit ILANG BESES! tapos ako one wrong move super katak and over super duper bonggang "parusa". FAIR enough?

I think it's not right (well, it's not talaga). And I don't regret anything na ginawa ko. Why? I saw the true person hiding behind someone! At ayun! From that moment on, syempre nakakashock diba. I never thought ganun sya kababaw at sensitive. Ganun ka Exagg ang reaction. Whatever. I don't regret anything. And if ever man na walang nangyreng samaan ng loob, wala rin mangyyre. trust me! Kung ngayon pa lang, ganun na, WHAT MORE??

So yun. Story end. lol


I'm better off without someone telling me what to do, someone telling me what to change (in me), someone telling me who to go with.. and that someone was him! Pissing diba? Hoho. Hoy lalake, gumising ka na sa katotohanan. Walang babaeng magbabago para sayo! better yet, umaus ka na. hhe.

Kahit naman wala ka, di ako mamatay. di ako malulungkot. Bakit? sinu ka ba? JOKER ka lang sa buhay ko. Lahat ng bagay dinadaan sa BIRO! Gawa ka nlng ng jokebook mo.


Enough said. :D

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