/whaadevur

So long!

2009-03-07T18:19:00.001+08:00

I shall say goodbye na. This will be *i think* the last post na.

I won't post na here but instead on my multiply account. It's kind of set to private. so sorry nlng kng wala kayong multiply, kaya PHOO, make one now. :D

It's www.thenandthere.multiply.com Click here nalang.

random

2009-02-26T22:16:00.002+08:00

My face is damn itchy. My gaaad. I just wanna grab the cheese grinder and grind my face. LOL. HAHAHAHA. sabi nga nila ung pagkudkud daw ng yelo. Evil much! =))) Ang sama niyo, pag etong face ko kuminis. NAKO. =))))

Ayokong magbakasyon. Hindi pa ko ready. I don't wanna let him be outta my sight for 2 whole months. Naman kasi. Super Pasaway nun, ang naughty naughty. So i can't help but have thinkings about him doing bad stuff, unfaithful things and all. K fine. So much for my pessismism.

On the bright side, Summer. HAHA. Wtf? Shit, i can't wear my two piece. Naman kasi my tummy oh! HAHA.

Walang ka kwenta kwenta tong update na to. para lang sa sake na nakapagpost ako. =)))) Deym it!

Promenade.

2009-02-23T12:25:00.002+08:00

Prom was great. Tiring much. :)

My gown looked like this:

It's blue violet and its so darn long, tube and fitted. :)) HAHAHA.

Before heading to school my friends and i had a photoshoot here are the "behind the scenes" take HAHA.

Too bad myko wasn't there.

Anyway, Bon and I were late so we were required to pay 100 php! Damn. :)))

I got to dance with a lot of people. Lemme list the ones i didn't forget.

Myko, my first dance
Fart
Marcelo
Fiver
Sir Vids
Julian
Joman
Homer
Wally
Palo
CJ
Caster
Ponce, Last dance aha
Tipay
Bespren
Latap
Jhansen
Donato
Deang

I can't remember the rest. :)) Sorry! :D

Twas a lot. My feet still hurts like hell until now.

Anyway, Myko gave me a rose! HAHAHA. Achievement un, So big deal na big deal sakin un. HAHA. First time. And ung rose na un kinuha nya lang sa table HAHAH.

Hirit nya pa "may bibigay ako sayo" sabay kuha ng rose sa likod. HAHA.
Natawa ako sbi ko, "alam ko kng san mo knuha to"
Tumawa kame and we said "dyan sa table"
tas sbi nya "buti nga binigyan kta eh"
HAHAHAH.

Tapos Fart asked me to dance again, we danced for like 3 times or more.
Sbi ko, alukin mo ko ng pormal. I was seating. Then sabi ko Hold the rose with your lips and kneel :)))

He did! :))))) trip lang namin un. HAHAHA.

KAKATAWA.

More pictures on friendster. :D

We didn't only dance sweet music, we dance like we're in a disco too. HAHA. mukha akong first lady and i danced like a party animal :)))) FUN.

And eventually, my gown turned into a DOORMAT sa sobrang dameng footprints. :)))

Dangerously inlove with you.

2009-02-17T23:11:00.001+08:00

Dangerously in Love - Beyoncé

I love you.

Baby I love you
You are my life
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side
You're my relation
In connection to the sun
With you next to me
There's no darkness I can't overcome
You are my raindrop
I am the sea
With you and God, who's my sunlight
I bloom and grow so beautifully
Baby, I'm so proud
So proud to be your girl
You make the confusion
Go all away
From this cold and messed up world.

I am in love with you
You set me free
I can't do this thing
Called life without you here with me
Cause I'm Dangerously In Love with you
I'll never leave
Just keep lovin' me
The way I love you loving me.

And I know you love me
Love me for who I am
Cause years before I became who I am
Baby you were my man
I know it ain't easy
Easy loving me
I appreciate the love and dedication
From you to me
Later on in my destiny
I see myself having your child
I see myself being your wife
And I see my whole future in your eyes
Thought of all my love for you
sometimes make me wanna cry
Realize all my blessings
I'm grateful
To have you by my side.

Every time I see your face
My heart smiles
Every time it feels so good
It hurts sometimes
Created in this world
To love and to hold
To feel
To breathe
To love you.

Dangerously in love
Can't do this thing
I love you , I love you, I love you
I'll never leave
Just keep on loving me
I'm in love with you
I can not do
I cannot do anything without you in my life
Holding me, kissing me, loving me
Dangerously
I love you
Dangerously in love.

sweetness?

2009-02-17T22:12:00.002+08:00

from melting sweet sugar, we turned into bitter black coffee.

Not really, but i can feel it. I know, all relationships has its own Ups and Downs, Sweet and Bitter moments. Sabi nga nila; hindi parati dapat sweet kayo. Oh yes, i agree. I guess im just not used to it.

We're still us, we're still ourselves but in someway i just noticed, we weren't as sweet as before na. I don't know, maybe this is just temporary.

Im bothered, that's all.

I still love him though, i'll love him through it all.
And deep down inside of me, i know he loves me too. ;)

Hearts Hearts Hearts

2009-02-15T15:25:00.002+08:00

Hearts day was fine. We didn't date. We don't really date you know. It's not his thing. We just went out to look for something to wear for prom. (on 20) So there. I found this Blue tube long gown. It's really elegant. I'll show you the pic when i get it na. Pinarepair ko pa kasi. So yun.

Sya nagpatahi sya, somewhat look a like ng kay Vhong navarro sa Agent x44, ung pure white. But sabi ko ang pale nun. So sinuggest ko Black ung Inner and red neck tie, so he agreed. ;)

Nothing special. I just bored him around looking for the right gown. :)) HAHA. 2 hours daw un. SOrry naman. :D Nag rereklamo na nga sya eh. HAHA. tapos we bought shoes.

Un lang, nothing much. I'd like to share this photos kasi i think im gorgeous in em.

naiinis ako.

2009-02-12T19:16:00.001+08:00

ewan. grrr! naiinis ako.

one thing i can't let go

2009-02-08T12:08:00.002+08:00

There are things in our life that we can't simply let go. No matter how much we got hurt, no matter what hell it's making us go through, no matter how much you wanted to give it up, still you can't 'just leave it behind. Even if your emotions are already giving in and can't take it anymore, there's still this "part" of us that's holding on and still hopes for a better outcome; "Maybe someday, things will get better.. I can still wait for that moment."

I came to the point that i no longer know what to choose. I'm the victim of my own feelings. A part of me says "Stop it, it's stupid." but another screams "Don't risk it for love's sake." Oh yes i love him. I really do. It's crazy cause it's really stupid. To think that i'm still here, striving to make it and still be with him through each unloving day of our relationship. It's no good. Every damn night i cry because i feel unloved and unimportant to the person i value the most. It hurts more every time i recall the saying; "If you think the person you Love doesn't love you, then you're right. For if he does, there's no way he'll make you feel he doesn't." It' s crap.

I'm jut so sober thinking of what i'd do. Shall i still hold on to this relationship? It's geting worse and worse and worse and worse. I just can't take the tears anymore. I love him but im torn apart. I want to stay but it's like he's pushing me away. So how?

I called him up, crying. Crying my heart and eyes out. I cried so hard i can barely breathe! He wasn't even talking. He doesn't want me to give up. He loves me. But why is he making things hard for me? We're just going on the wrong way. It's geting pointless. He told me not to leave and things shall get better. It's just a part of our God damn relationship and i should remain strong for the good times sake. I don't know. I still didn't feel any better after all those things he told me. Cause i heard all of those a hundred times, and they weren't for real. I guess it didn't register to my "understanding".

I continued to cry. I thought of leaving him right then and there. But I can't. I love him so much i'm still willing to get hurt one or two more time(s). Just few more tries, i said to myself. And there's this one thing he told me that keeps echoing in my head, "Dapat walang iwanan."

Yes, walang iwanan, lalakasan ko na loob ko, this time. ;)

lazy

2009-02-07T22:00:00.002+08:00

tinatamad ako magkwento, bukas nlng. :D

"You're so confusing," She said to the boy lying next to her. She quickly kissed him on the forehead and grabbed her clothes lying on the floor beside her feet. With one last glance at the boy she loved, she walked out of the door & spent the rest of her life wondering whether he loved her or if it was just lust.

Quote of the day!

2009-02-01T21:31:00.000+08:00

She was always second best, so she never thought she'd be the first he picked. she never thought he wanted her so bad.

Happy looks good on me or not

2009-02-01T21:23:00.002+08:00

I'm just feeling enthusiastic or wishing i were. I don't know, i'm just plain bored and can't think of anything to blog about since today was an empty day. It's evening and still nothing exciting. I'm feeling, fine and neutral. That's a good thing compared to being down and sober. :D Hehe.

I just noticed some people changed their blog urls. Namely Andi and Darlene. Hehe, Season to change? I've been thinking if i also want to change mine, but i'm too lazy to hop on everyone's blog and broadcast my supposed-to-be-new url. :D Haha. So, i'll just stick to this one, it's fine, don't you think?

Wala magawa!

2009-01-31T12:16:00.003+08:00

Do you think you are pregnant?

- Yes. Chos. HAHAHA.

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?

- Summer? HAHA.

You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?

- Somewhere sexy. Like lower back or belly button. what? i don't know. My name? Or a doodle.

What are you wearing?

- Typical pambahay!

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?

- Yesterday. :)

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

- Yep, k lang.

Do you like the ocean?

- Fine lang.

How many windows are open on your computer?

- 4

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

- Cell, myko.

Texted?

- Kath, Porr. ;)

Was the first person you talked to today male or female?

- Male, my brother.

What woke you up this morning?

- Idk, bsta nagising ako.

Do you know anyone named Matt?

- Yes, ninong ni kyle. Haha.

What color is your hair?

- brown

Is your hair curly or straight?

- straight but frizzy haha

Are you currently jealous?

- Yes.

What are you doing/did you do today?

- Wala, computer lang.

Last time you held hands with someone?

- Yesterday.

What jewelery are you currently wearing?

- None.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

- Yes, but i'll miss it HAHA.

What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?

- High blood!

Have you ever in anyway, been betrayed by someone you trust?

- A lot of times already.

How late did you stay up last night and why?

- Di ko maremember. Bsta 1130 or onwards.

What do you prefer: McDonalds or Burger King?

- Mcdo

Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii?

- Hawaii

Last time you worked out?

- Yesternight. Haha. Nag abswing lang ako.

Could you cry right now?

- No, my eyes are still sore.

Are you a jealous person?

- When it comes to boyfriend matters, yes.

Do you wear the seat belt in the car?

- When in front.

Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else?

- Yes.

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?

- Kyle's.

Whats your hair look like?

- Trash.

Ever go camping?

- Nope, but wants to.

Are you someones bestfriend?

- Yes.

When was the last time you were told you were cute?

- Yesterday. HAHA.

Could you go a day without eating?

- Yes.

Does anyone love you?

- Yes. :P

How was this week?

- Random.

Where did you get the shirt your wearing?

- Divi!

Does anyone hate you?

- Idk, the hell i care?

Have you ever lived with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

- Overnight. HAHAHA.

Cried him a river

2009-01-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

The worst ever habit i have is, crying. I've turned into this crybaby. HAHA. I cry even for the ~~most~~ shallowest things done by him. Bsta, i cry. Un na un. That's my point!

Lately i've been in this crying situation again, and it just sucked so much. But on the bright side, i felt better after the session and proved his much more deeper love for me. And the story goes..

Wala, textmate lang. Binigdeal ko! Well, i'm really that kind of a jealous girlfriend. Sobrang selosa ako. And it just hurted so much cause it felt like he was tryna' get rid of me in any way kasi he had this textmate back in our "fight" days noong pagdiriwang. So i felt so bad, and i mean so baaaad! At first i thought i could get through what im feeling without shedding a tear or two, but i failed. I stayed quiet hugging him and after like a moment, tears just kept flowing on and on and on... I'm not mad at him or anything but i am soooo jealous and sobrang hurt ko. I never thought he'd do such thing even if it was just a textmate. I still find it huge of a deal. He was getting all worried and keeps on nagging me to tell him what was up, if i was mad or anything else. He just looked so sincere and there was i, continuing my drama scene! He hugged me so tight, told me he was utterly sorry.. Kissed me sooo long and just stared deep in my eyes. It was my best drama scene so far. But that scene didn't keep me from bursting these tears out, Still.

Until i felt fine na and told him what was up with me, and how i felt about it. He eventually deleted the "contact" (hopefully) and told me his sincerest sorry and promised something. It was then i found out i cried for a thing that was so not worth crying. Without knowing the full details would really make you feel bad if you were in my shoes, but when he told me his SHORT story about it, i just saw myself laughing at my previous self. But in some way, i still find what i did was good, right and worth it. Cause for a shallow-cryer like me, it's worth shedding tears for. The "detail" was; they only exchanged about 10 sms. That's it. So wasn't i over reacting?

I guess yes but i hope not. It still hurts a bit even though it's just that. But yeah, im soo fragile.

Goodnight. :)

Quarrel

2009-01-25T19:34:00.002+08:00

Un, nagaway kami. sobrang sad ko. Details;

Kasi parati nalang, everytime na nagpapromise sya, laging hindi natutupad, so nakakaasar na tlga hanggang sa naulit nanaman. Kagabi? Ay hindi, nung isang gabi.

After Our dance performance mineet ko sya. Nagpromise sya na he won't smoke na. So there. Eh naamoy ko. So nabadtrip na ko. Yung tipong pagod na pagod na ko, mababadtrip pa ko. So sobrang panget ng mood ko. Halos sumigaw na ko, ewan! Kahit na anong gawin nyang pampatawa, hindi tlga nagwork. Hangang sa time to go home na, sabi ko umuwi na sya. AYAW! So what he did is pinaniwala nya kong uuwi na sya. Nung nasa tricycle, nagsosorry na ko and all kasi feeling ko Sobrang OVER ako. Which is partially right naman. Pero No reaction naman sya. Wala na kong magawa. Sobrang down na down na ko. Kiniss ko sya, as in ako lang nagkiss. Tapos bumaba na. Pinaderetso nya ung trike para isipin ko umuwi na sya.

But HELL NO. Mga 12 Something, Nawrong send sya. But before that nagtext ako ulit ng "sorry" but no reply. Tpos un nga na Wrong send Something like.. "wag mo sasabhin kay nina ha, nagaway kasi kami eh" So syempre magdududa ka. Nung una cool pa ko with it, kasi naisip ko baka nagshashot lang. Pero hindi, pumunta ng balibago (place of pokshits and clubs) and i don't know what else! Sobrang GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. K.

Hangang ngayon, No anything. No talk, no anything nga. Badtrip.

Sobrang sober ko na galit. Kahit na gusto ko magsorry, wala naman akong fault. Echepwera lang naman ako lagi sakanya. Hindi ko na ieelaborate ung, latest kong nalaman at nagiging furious ako. :|

Dance. Tests. Laughtrip. Eight.

2009-01-19T20:33:00.005+08:00

Escaped from class. =)) --wholeday!

Yes, that's something to be happy about. I was excused whole day from all of my classes today. Due to our practice for the cultural night, we'll be dancing kasi. So ayon. K bye. HAHA.

Some test papers were checked today. I got "okay" grades.
Chemistry - 50/80 (im not sure of the number of items)
Filipino - 63/100
English - 47/70

My scores weren't that bad, but they're not as good as well. I'm not contented. I know i could've done better. But My marks were very high for someone who didn't study her lessons right? Cause i didn't study at all! =))) I'm lazy but im NATURALLY smart. I don't need tons of kasipagan to pass. Hoho!

I just really really really really really smart.

We had our practice kanina as stated above and it's not as tiring as before. Which is a good thing. Super LAUGHTRIP lang kami ni Monik kanina. We were singing songs out of tune and mali mali ang lyrics. Tapos alam nyo ung sa LOW "the baggy sweat pants and the reeboks with the straps.." Sabi ni monik, "the Magazine.." Haha. Just imagine her singing that part with the word magazine changing the Baggy sweat pants. It's just damn funny in person. =)) Tapos we were laughing for a lot of other reasons pa hangang sa sobrang sakit na ng tyan namin. Humirit sya which really made me laugh so hard.. Kasi diba when you tend to laugh ung super hard, you like hurt your stomach, ung sensation na para kang nagsisit-ups. Right? So, Nung tawa kami ng tawa bigla nyang sinabi, "Ang sakit na ng tyan ko, Nagkakaabs ka na ba?" HAHAHAHAHA. It was ~~hella ... Uh..~~ Super funny. HAHAHA. ~~K fine, mukhang ako lang ang tumatawa ngayon. :|~~

After that laughing incident, wala na. =)))) Myko waited for me up to 6 30, appreciated. :) Touch! Tapos pilit nya pang inaamoy ang kili kili kong mabaho na. Duhh? Nagpractice kaya ako. So yun, Mabaho na tlga. :)) We were with Caster and Fart. Inaasar nila akong tatlo na ang baho ko na daw. Cruel much! Tas humirit si myko "Kahit naman gano kabaho yan, natitiis ko naman" HAHAHA. It's something like that but much more sweeter. Weh, so kinilig ba ko? Slight! HAHAHA.

K fine. Goodnight. :)
Viii lang, forever. :P

May ginawa pala akong quote:

"I got you, You got me We're just so meant to be."

Bye Bye Tests!

2009-01-17T15:45:00.001+08:00

Wala naman masyado. Tapos na finals namin. ;) Hello, pagdiriwang! WooHoo! HAHAHA.

K, let's talk about my damn laptop. It sucks baby! BIGtime. When i open it, There's this opening note like

"Hi Im blablabla, Don't kill me, It's my birthday!"

I was like.. Huh? I almost got chills. HAHA! Then when i surf the net, every now and then there's pop up windows which are blank. It's really annoying! This thing is sooo getting in my nerves. K bye.

Haha, anyway, Darlene asked me what i'd take for college (Lahat ata tnanong nya). So na Bother ako. HAHA. Kasi kahit ako hindi ko pa din alam. I'm 3rd yr palang pero it's approaching na rin eh. So yeah, it's still undecided. I don't want NURSING, NO to I.T., I yearn for tourism but i lack height. (4'11 1/2 ft parin ako.) Oh well, Idk talaga. HAHAHA.

Myko just went home kaninang mga 3pm. Bonding lang kami dito. HAHA. Nakakainip and all. Mga walang pera kasi! Amp. K fine, titipid na ko. :| Osha, Wala na ko masay pa. ;p

Hello Change!

2009-01-15T22:21:00.002+08:00

Hello, change! :D

New Skin. Hot eh? I find it very beautiful. Nothing much about it, and that's what makes it nice. :)
Too many details sometimes confuses people looking towards it and draws attention to the not-so important things and mistakenly ignores the MAIN agenda that's really behind it. Talagang inelaborate ko ang pananaw ko. Haha.

Today was our finals in Social, Chem & Mapeh. Social was a piece of cake! ... Piece of cake to cheat! Man, it was so easy. =))) (Bad student!) Mapeh was cool too. I knew the answers talaga though i prepared a note. (I was so naughty talaga.) And Chem was, Fine. :) That was the only HONEST test i took for today. ;) I'm quiet confident i did pass it.

Spent the rest of the day with my Boyfriend suffering through his very very very very very smelly farts. =)))) Damn was it sooooo horrible! Anyway, he had a bad stomach since yesterday, that's why. Pagaling ka na hon. :P

Math, THE, English is our test tomorrow, it's an easy one. Except for MATH. Oh well, Bahala na si batman. ;)

Goodnight!

Tomorrow!

2009-01-14T23:44:00.001+08:00

Blog title: TOMORROW. Why?

I'll finally get rid of this girly girl theme of mine.. tomorrow.
And we'll have our tests tomorrow. ;)

Wish me luck, i need loads of it!

Kwento? tomorrow narin. =DDDD

School shits

2009-01-12T22:21:00.003+08:00

It's a normal day, as usual. Went to school, Studied (or pretended to. Haha) and Fooled around.
We had a long test on health today, and i just practiced my Cheating skills. =DDD Oh cmon, It's not that bad. But it's bad. K. Fine.

We drew circles on Geom, It's our project and it's kind of amazing, wala lang kasi we got to make patterns. K. Ang babaw ko ah! HAHAHA. Accounting naman, unit test. I think i did well. Tomorrow naman is our unit test in English. Kaya ko to. =)))

I'm not really excited and all for Prom. I don't know, maybe because the venue isn't really nice. But it's just doesn't make me enthusiastic. I'm being left out by everybody kasi, Sila busy planning about their outfits and stuff. So kumusta naman ako. =D Wala pang anything. Kahit bucks, Wala. =)))) K fine! Pero, May partner ako ah. HAHA! That's the only thing i have. :P HAHA!

Wala ulit mgawa

2009-01-12T22:14:00.004+08:00

* KAYA MO BA ---

1. Iwanan ang mahal mo?

-- Hindi, bat mo naman iiwanan diba? Tanga ka nlng nun. (Di naman ako galit?)

2. Mabuhay ng walang cellphone?

-- Oo naman, anu un, tubig? HAHA.

3. Magmahal ng taong hindi ka kayang mahalin?

-- Hangga't kaya, kakayanin. :) (Gumaganon na ko ngayon. haha.)

4. Ibigay ang lahat para sa taong mahal mo?

-- Oo.

5. Mabuhay ng walang kaibigan?

-- "No Man Is An Island."

* BAKiT ---

1. Ka msaya.

-- Cos I'm happy Sha La La!

2. Ka nagmamahal?

-- Kasi, nainlove ako. Haha.

3. Gusto mong mamatay?

-- Not yet! :P

4. Masarap kumain?

-- Kasi,masarap ang pagkain. :)

*PAANO ---

1. Ka na pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo?

-- Ask God.

3. Ka na pag nawalan ka ng cellphone?

-- Edi wala ng Phone! HAHA.

4. Ka pinapangiti o pinapasaya ng mahal mo?

-- Simple little things that counts so much! (Uy, ang sweet ko.)

5. Ka magmahal ng tao?

-- Pag Mahal ko na tlga, Parang wala ng bukas. =)))) HAHA. Ask Myko!

*NARANASAN MO NA BANG ---

1. Manigarilyo?

-- Yup.

2. Uminom ng beer?

-- Shot! HAHA.

3. Magmahal ng taong di ka mahal?

-- Hmm, eventually, minahal nya rin ako. (fyi, hindi ko sya pinilit!) HAHAHA.

5. Di kumain ng isang araw?

-- Panay ChiChirya! AHA.

6. Mabigyan ng violation?

-- Oo naman. haha.

7. Mapagalitan ng teacher?

-- Syempre.

8. Mahulog sa kama?

-- Sa sobrang likot ko matulog. =))))

9. Umiyak ng sobra?

-- Pagumiiyak ako, laging wala ng bukas. =DDD

10. Hindi matulog magdamag?

-- Oo naman.

Ay, wala lang. Haha.

2009-01-12T21:58:00.002+08:00

Love Survey: You must answer every question TRUTHFULLY!!

SHOOT! :)

1.Are you currently in a relationship?

- Yes. =D

2.Have you ever been given a teddy bear?

- Oo naman, I have like tons! (K, exagg na un.)

3.What are your all-time favorite love story movie?

- If Only. The best!

4.Are you in love right now?

- Yes, Yes.

5.Do you believe that everyone has a soul mate?

- Hmm, I'm on the line middle.

6.What's your current problem?

- Wala naman, So far. :)

7.Have you ever had your heart broken?

- Yep.

8.Your thoughts ON online or long distance relationships?

- Online? NO. LDR? Hirap, sobra!

9.Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?

- Haha, It always starts that way, right? :P

10.how many kids you want to have?

- 4-6 The more the merrier. :)))

11.What is/are your favorite color/s?

- Wala akong favorite, bsta mgnda, K na.

12.Who is your celebrity crush

- Chris Brown, Heath Ledger and the character Edward Cullen (Yea, ung character lang.)

13.Do you believe you truly only

love once?

- Siguro? We'll never know.

14.Imagine you're 40 & your spouse

just died, would you get re-married?

- My hubby just died and you think i'll think about marriage right away? DAMNIT.

15.Do you believe in love at first sight?

- No.

16.What song do u want to be played at your wedding?

- Ay, Ay, Ay Pagibig. Joke

(S)Ceana

2009-01-11T19:04:00.002+08:00

So wala lang, Ceana is the name of Vina Morales's new baby girl. =) Which means God is Gracious. It was a good name and pronounced as Si-Yan-Nna. But when i first heard the name, all i thought about was the SEA. Haha. So i pictured it's spelling with an S. But then i was wrong, instead it's the ocean that i should be portraying. So, ayaw naman nila sa bodies of water? =)))

So yun, nakichika lang ako kay vina morales. =))))

After 25 years

2009-01-10T22:25:00.004+08:00

And yes, i've been lazy so we really need to do a lot of catching up.

4 months na kami and still going strong and unbeatable as ever. Challenges are popping out one by one but gladly we're being able to pass through it with smiling hearts. :D He's been changing percent by percent and i'm happy about this GOOD change. I feel more needed and essential to him now. I'm currently wearing my his jacket now kasi para akong lalagnatin. :| Why? Don't ask. It's quiet confidential and i can't tell the world about it. Kanina, or i mean kagabe, i got mad at him. So ang sama tlga ng loob ko. All because he won't keep his word. He'd always say yes but ends up with a no. Get it? Once he tell you, or agreed with you for a deal, he'll end up breaking it. It sucks and hurtful of course cause it's like im NO ONE. And I don't really matter at all. I got all mad and dissapointed. But kanina, he went here. I was still mad and stuff and throwing things at him (brutal ko! haha) but i ended up crying. Hay, sobrang iyak ako ng iyak so now my eyes are sore and my nose is stuffed. :| Later part of our drama (or my drama) session kanina, we ended up being okay na and hugging. :')

I guess my year started (quiet) right so far. Except from a sin i/we just comitted. Oh well, Forgive me God. Another thing was i gained ~~wait~~ weight (i spelled it WAIT tlga. haha.), and by that i mean a lot of it. Wala lang, ang laki ng tyan ko. :| Grrr! ~~Food!~~

I can't type no more na, I feel so exhausted. :) Next time!
Goodnight!

SORRY!

2009-01-02T12:35:00.003+08:00

I've been off a good start this year. ALTHOUGH, i got pissed off by him on new year's eve. (Pag may occasion, nagkakagalit kami) Hha. Stop this insanity please! Eh kasi aun, i got mad all because everytime we have this good conversation na sa text or anything, bigla na lang, "hon wait lang hinihiram ung phone co" I was cool with it. But Duh, It was new year's eve! I wanted to talk to him so bad tapos biglang may humihiram. Binibigay nya naman, kaya ako nagalit. So Sbi ko.. "Binibigay mo naman! Hay ewan mtutulog nlng ako" Tpos natulog na ko. :|

When i woke up, I've read like 10 messages, almost half was from him, saying sorry. Well it wasn't really his fault kasi kinukuha tlga yta sknya ung phone. So nagsorry back ako. Ang proud ko lang, kasi nagsosorry na sya! HAHAHA.

One LAST.

2008-12-31T21:39:00.002+08:00

We're fine. Grabe, love na love nya pala tlga ako. After our fight, we went from arguing to being freezing cold until i called it a day, I stopped texting him. Tapos, Nung madaling araw tinext nya ko. Sobrang heart warming kasi sorry sya ng sorry. I guess narealize nya na. So yun, mahal nya tlga ako. =D

This is the last post for this year. So long 200EIGHT. This year has been like a new high step for me. It's when i learned about REAL teen stuff. Ive had this progress. I've changed. =D I learned to love where i am now dearly. :D Ayoko na nga umalis eh. Mahal ko na section ko, new friends and other acquiantances. I'm so happy.

I've danced to the beat of my heart and eventually got the people around me dancing too. =)
This is one heart-aching, heart breaking, kiss and make up, super changing YEAR! :D

Highlights:

New Section! :D
Inuman sessions!
Barkada Bondings =D
Going to.. =D
Mr. and Ms. Un 1st runners.
PAC performances and comptitions.
Problems that made me strong
New Friends and close ones
and..
Meeting my 08 :)

Happy new year! :D

Neutral

2008-12-28T02:39:00.002+08:00

It's 2:40 am and i'm still wide awake. I should be sleeping tight now, snoring, saliva dripping and all.. But how come i'm still in front of my laptop, typing? It's eerie, i know. I'm asking myself. I've been thinking about my year's highlights. Since I'll surely post it here on my blog. I want to be able to list all of them as much as possible but the problem is, will i remember?

I'm feeling neutral. I'm not happy and not sobbering anymore. I think i'm fine. I was thinking about him all night (and morning). How things should and would work out. Will they appear fine and actually find him realizing his mistakes? Or maybe not. I just hope that he still knows what he's been doing and making me feel like. Yes, I'm fragile. So if you really value me, you'll be sensitive. I'm not as fragile as other girls are, i'm not that. I just thirst for YOUR appreciation and cmon, admit your mistakes man. Be smart enough to notice what's wrong. Cause baby i know, it's not me. I won't directly tell you what it is, So you gotta go figure for yourself. So you'll learn. Cause really, you're one spoiled boyfriend.

And by that, i meant.. Well yeah, i spoiled you. Brat! Iloveyou.

Goodnight. I'll just read my way to sleep. (or write.)

Why I'm sad

2008-12-28T01:09:00.002+08:00

I'm sad cause he doesn't value me much. :( I'm feeling as if i'm not appreciated enough. I don't get credit for every sacrifice i do. I just wanna be understood and followed. That's all. Don't i deserve it? He won't follow and he won't let a piece of him listen to me and even try to understand what i'm fighting for. I get tired at times too. I'm human, I have a heart, i have feelings, i get hurt. :| I can't understand you forever. I can't do all these sacrifices. I can't cry all the damn time. I'm hurt. There's still time to change, there is. I still love you, nothing's changed. Don't worry. I'm still yours. :')

Sober

2008-12-26T20:45:00.001+08:00

Im very sad. :(

6th Chapter

2008-12-23T01:20:00.002+08:00

I'm on Chapter 6 now on Twilight. :) I guess i better sleep now before i get my eyes dug dip like pit falls. =)))))

Goodnight!(again)

11 more days!

2008-12-22T23:22:00.002+08:00

Eleven days na lang. Haha! Sabik ako! Sabik na sabik na! :))))) Hindi na ako magkandaUgaga dito. Wut The Feck? Tas hindi ko pa sya nakatext ng mabuti ngaung araw na to! Darn It ~~GLOBE!~~Suckiy much! You're ruining the effin day! K. I'm soooo angry. Haha. Well, not really. I've cool down already and it's freezin cold. Brr! Connection? Lumamig na ang mainit kong ulo! haha.

My body is achin, a lot! My steps na kami sa How Do I Breathe and Past halfway through Shawty Get Loose. Twas hard kasi we have to familiarize ourselves to new steps since we created our own.We'll carry on! Haha. I have to arrange pa ung songs na sasayawin namin. Maybe;

Papichulo, Because Of You, How do i breathe, Burn, Shawty Get Loose, Candy Shop, Shake, Bounce, Sexy Love, Nsync (tearin up my heart)

and the rest i can't remember na.

Ayaw naman namin sumayaw eh! :)) 10 songs lang naman ung naka list above diba? Haha!
Di naman buong song! siguro 30-1 minute or ung iba 2 minutes per song. ;D

Tapos tomorrow sasayaw pa kami sa Palmera. ;) Orayt, It's tiring! And namimis ko na tlga sya kasi he used to be there or he's always there everytime we do our practices and fetches and brings me home after performance. I guess i have to go home on my own muna. ;) Weeeh! Nagdrama eh noh! haha. Temporary lang naman. ;)

Masaya ako ngayon kasi, iloveyou so much na! :D (ako lang ata nakakagets nito. haha.)

Osha, babasa pa ko ng ebook ko. :) 4th Chapter na ko. :)
Goodnight!

Dunks and Kicks!

2008-12-22T00:04:00.001+08:00

I WANT THESE SO BAD!!

hahay... gusto ko tlga. iipon muna ako ng 5000! nako! haha.

Perspired.

2008-12-21T23:39:00.002+08:00

Yea, i'm all tired. I've been trying to get these steps of some song but i can't seem to do so kasi hindi ko makita ng detailed ung moves. Oh well, papalearn ko nlng kari lewell bukas. Haha.
On 23, hopefully makasayaw ako for Palmera's xmas party. Sana payagan ako, hindi pa kasi ako nagpapaalam sa dad ko! =))))

On 28 naman, we'll be auditioning for HAU openhaus dance competition. Nagbabakasakali lang naman. ;) first ever. ng dance crew namin. --xplod (explode) So ayun. :D

I'm tired, gusto ko pa maligo kaso it's very late na, bukas na lang.

Goodnight!

miss ko na syaaaa! haha.

5 days before christmas

2008-12-20T09:57:00.003+08:00

I woke up early today. I don't know why, but i slept real late last night. The first thing i did was read my e-book, Twilight. I'm done with the 10-page (i think) 1st chapter. I've decided to read atleast one chapter a day to be able to finish the book withing 24 days. :) The 1st chapter was quiet familiar since i watched the movie (i think everything will be quiet familiar naman. haha.)

It's 5 days before Christmas and i want to receive lots of ~~gifts~~. I know i would hardly receive any since my relatives think im BIG now, rather than that kid they used to love those days, i was so cute then! (oh well, im pretty na. NOW) Sana i could be with him on this special day, that would be so sweet. ~~Our first Christmas together as a couple.~~ O dba. So much for fantasies, it can't happen. (ahayy..) I shouldn't be sober. I should be happy pa nga kasi masaya sya dun, but i can't help being a little emotional at times. Haha! (ang babaw!) I'm a bit too worried baka kasi naughty sya dun, or he's drinking too much or puffs a lot. I trust him naman, but i have this instincts/worries/mights. (yea, we have this girlfriend-instincts nowadays:)

I'm really acting eerie. I'm not his mother anyway. I trust him PERIOD. End of story. I know, He won't act foolish and won't dissappoint me. I know it, He loves me enough. I've been blogging about this insecurities of mine all throughout this week! It's ruining the Should-be-joyful atmosphere in here. I'm not really insecure or what, i'm just PARAAAANNNOOOOIIIDDD.
It sucks. Really.

I'm acting like this all because i don't have anything to focus my attention on. If only i can go out with friends, I can but i don't have bucks. Bored, that's all i am and will be this vacation. I think it's a bit too long. Haha! And when classes resume, for sure i'll be disoriented. I think everyone will be. I wanna do something fun, recreational and time consuming. I wonder WHAT it is.

Darlene is so mean for posting on her blog that she knew my secret. Yea, i know it's unexpected for her to know cause she thought i was this good girl. HAHA! Oh well, i trust her enough so i told her. Love ko sya eh.

Ciao!

Good Morning

2008-12-20T01:07:00.002+08:00

Good morning. It's 1:07 am and i'm still wide awake. I don't think i'm sleepy yet. I've been thinking about him. I'm so crazy and paranoid. I can't sleep. It's so cold. Connection? Haha. Ah bsta.

Robynn is so kapal. Check his Y!M status. Crush ko daw sya nung nasa galang pa kami, eh hindi naman! haha. Okay, so much for dreams. haha. Joke Rob!

Goodnight for me. :)

Thanks to technology!

2008-12-19T21:10:00.004+08:00

E-books are so handy!

I have my twilight series now! WooHoo! They were e-books. E-books are copies of books (exact copies) in the computer. Meaning, instead of reading them in hardbound papers, you can read it on your computers. And it's free (if you know how to research:)

I'm happy, atlast i can start reading it. I don't need to buy the 600php book. I'd spent that money on pampering myself nalang. ;) Aright Aright! The e-books were pdf documents.

So yeah, i already have a gift for my ever so loving friend/closefriend/bestfriend ninya. If she doesn't like it on the computer, i'll have it print instead. ;) Rather than buy the book! aha! I was so clever, wasn't I? :D

Kulot salot

2008-12-19T20:02:00.002+08:00

kulot ako nung christmas party. At until the next day, kulot parin. :)))
I love it. Loose curls sila. I never thought i can curl my hair with it's lenght
Hoho! Thanks to youtube, i found a vid. It's the same thing. Much easier!
I spent like 30 mins. Include Blowdrying na!
Galing diba? Aliw! :D Bagay? Hmm? Hmm? ;P

Hanging habagat!

2008-12-19T19:21:00.002+08:00

It's freaking cold.. Huuuuuugggg! Oh well. He's not here, i guess i have to bear with the temperature with my jacket instead. Haha! poor me! I miss him loads!

2 weeks na lang, we'll see each other na. I'm so excited! Haha. I may sound very.. uhmm.. paranoid? idk. can't find the right word! xD Bsta, i wanna see him so badly na. As in.

I'm still bothered with the girly girl theme of my blog. It's so pink! I'm pissed. Haha. My efforts are gonna be sayang naman if i change the theme. I can't seem to configure kasi ung font color no matter how i try. If i change it, nothing happens. Grr!

New look!

2008-12-18T19:32:00.002+08:00

So, what do you think? Yea, i know. It's a bit too girly-girly and it's not me.
But it's cute right? I'm so lazy to revise. The pink font here, on the blog's content won't change.
IDK why. ;) Oh well, i guess we all have to bear with it.

I did this the whole afternoon. Well not really. I did it less than an hour but it took me sometime to find fonts, brushes and base codes. :) Isn't it love? It's green and pink!

K. miss ko na si myko.

New personalized skin

2008-12-18T13:58:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna transform my blogger into something more interesting. ;)
I know, it'll be a lot of HARD work. But, that's just how it is. Pag may tyaga, my nilaga. k? lol.
It's like starting all over again with PS CS2. It's been ages since i last used it. I'm still familiar and stuff, but i'm renewing all brushes since i have changed tastes. HAHA! It will take sometime to organize these stuff.. (brushes, patterns, textures, gradients..) Oh well, Give me much determination. ;)

But as of now, i'm missing my man like hell. It's been like 2 days pa lang and yet i have this craving! Oh god. I told you my missing span's really short. (short as in micro mini short) lol. I hope he's behaving. :| I'm not in doubt, i'm just.. Worried?

Questions

2008-12-14T10:36:00.004+08:00

1)If someone were to spell your name wrong, how would they spell it?

- Ninya (with the enye and stuff) & Elaine! Hoho.

2)Is your phone close to you?

- Yea.

3)What's bothering you right now?

- I'm not allowed to join the overnight with friends, NEVER EXPERIENCED it! Fcuk!

4)Bet you're missing someone now?

- Oh yes, I do miss a lot of people.

5)What do you want to be when you're older?

- It's still undecided. I just wanna be happy, filthy rich and popular.

6)If you were given $100, would you spend it, or save it ?

- Save to spend. Lol.

7)What were you doing at midnight last night?

- Snoring. =DD

8)Are you listening to music right now?

- Nope.

9)Do you get along with girls?

- I get along with girls, boys and even homos. =DDD

10)Do you like surprises?

- I love "good" surprises.

11)What are you going to do tomorrow?

- Have this effin xmas partei.

12)Do you like your name?

- It's neat.

13)Do you crack your knuckles?

- Yep. That's why i have the worst hands ever.

14)What were you doing 20 minutes ago?

- I don't know exactly.

15)Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

- Nope.

16)Bonfire or fireplace?

- Don't need one. It's effin hot in here.

17)Do you ever write notes on your hand?

- Yep. I write answers! =DDD

18)Where did you sleep last night?

- My bed in my room in my house. K?

19)When was the last time you were in a swimming pool?

- Percy's birthday. Can't remember when the celebration was held.

20)Have you ever fallen backwards on a chair?

- Yup. Haha.

21)Who's on your mind right now?

- Ashelea, since she's the one who last answered this survey. Lol.

22)Have you ever gone Christmas caroling?

- Never in my life. I would like to try but i'm just too old for that. :|

23)Do you think you're old?

- Old enough?

24)What are you looking forward to in the next month?

- Pagdiriwang/fair.

25)When was the last time you talked to number 1 on your featured friends?

- Yesterday.

26)Have you ever told anyone you were OK when you really weren't?

- I always do. =DD

27)Do you think anyone in general out

there loves you?

- Everybody loves me. Yea, kiddin.

28)Where's the last place you went?

- SM.

29)Do you smile often?

- Smilling is love. =D

30)If you were being chased by an alligator, what would you do?

- Run? Haha!

31)If you caught your boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on you, what would you do?

- I don't know. I'll walk towards him and say "you lost everything!" and slap the whore he's with and release the hounds. HAHAHA.

32)Would you ever change for a boy/girl?

- it depends.

33)Is there anyone that you wish was out of your life?

- Not really.

34)Were you happy when you woke up today?

- I was feeling neutral.

35)Are you always in a good mood?

- I'm moody you know.

36)Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?

- None.

37)Do you have a best friend?

- Of course i do.

38)Last Question:

Do You LOve HIM/HER?

- i love everybody. Haha.

"almost break up"

2008-12-13T08:47:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was such a day! (I meant yesterday's yesterday -- so technically, it's the OTHER DAY) so much for elaborating. But yeah, it's not a "day" for a ~~good reason~~ but for a bad one. It was fucked up! But before all the bad stuff, i want you all to know that i have a bruised and bloated right hand. Haha! Kasi Myko and I were playing this KETCHUP game. Haha. Alam mo yon? ;p

Twas late afternoon when things got a little awkward. We fought about this shallow thing and was dug deep prior to this "something" he knew from a friend which was not true. And wtf, he believed it. So he got mad and stuff, acting like i've got this huge fault but really,

i didn't do anything, and to think, this "thing" wasn't even true!

I talked to him and seemed like i was talking to the air. I just can't stop the tears from falling, until i saw myself crying before him. It hurted like hell, well ofcourse his in doubt of what im telling him. He believes the other person more than his girlfriend. He wanted to break up with me. It's the feeling of being.. unloved?.. or.. oh well, can't find the right word. He walked out and i chased him. I pulled his arm and he turned around. I was crying, crying everything out. (to think that we were in school haha)

He just looked at me. Stared deep in my eyes. Tapos he held me, said sorry, and hugged.

I didn't stop crying there. Eh kasi naman naiiyak talaga ako! We went to my place and talked. Umiyak nanaman ako. Wtf. Until I stopped and both sides said everything. So yun, naayos din.

The next day, my eyes were SORE. O_O and...

He was cold. :| It wasn't really about me, it's more like his personal problem that he won't bother to share. I was totally clueless and asking what's wrong all the fucking time. He won't really tell me. So i let him.. It was awkward. Yea, im his gf and i know nothing about it. While his friends know. It's unfair. He told me he won't be attending the xmas party. I got dissapointed. Ofcourse it wouldn't be a party for me without him. :| Uuwe na daw kasi sya ng tarlac the day before the party. For some reason... He wanted me to ~~understand~~. But how could i? If i know nothing about what's going on? It's 1 day to spare yet he couldn't. I was forcing him to leave after the xmas party instead but he insists. Ofcourse i was sad and all. We talked at my place again and i started crying again for some reason.. (I cry all the time you see.. Haha!) Again he was looking deep into my eyes, seriously. Then he just burst out this smile and had me laughing with my eyes filled. Haha! And weird talaga namin. Haha. I think naconvince co na sya about leaving after the party.

Thank God. Amen. ;)

I cut myself. ;(

2008-12-10T20:43:00.002+08:00

i cut myself. ;( Galos lang naman. Sa ring finger. But it hurts though. How dumb was i. :| I was kinda cleansing the mirror kasi may moist then ung gilid ng mirror, un nagasgas. It's not really something huge and deep, but it's mahapdi. Well so much about my bubu. >:P (rugrats term)

I still don't have anything to wear for christmas party, and still have no bucks. So how's that. I can't wear the new dresses that i bought kasi sleeveless clothes are made bawal na. So suckiy. Very! Im planning to buy na lang on saturday pero san ako kukuha ng pera? Sana natatae ang pera. ;( HAHA!

Okay, puro problema ang blogpost ko ngayon. On the bright side, Congrats to Manny Pekyaw for winning his recent battle with Dela Hoya. Twas great! Though Dela Hoya's waaaaaaaay pogi than him, he's still tougher. Oh well. ;p And Myko and i were both perfect in out recent Chem Quiz 50/50. Bakit ang galing namin diba? ;p

Improving studies =D

2008-12-06T10:17:00.002+08:00

My four-weekly grade in social was 94 and chem 91.2 Hoho! :P Myko's chem grade was high too, 90. So un, we're both improving. Ewan. Trip lang. =))))

Im not with him today, because he'll be out with his friends all day, all night. Boys night out. HAHA. =)) Sana naman, behave sya. I've been telling him to behave since yesterday pa, and i think he's all fed up haha. I trust him naman, and hope na he won't do such silly stuff. They'll go clubbin kasi kaya medyo worried, but K. fine. ;)) haha. I also wanted to go to manila today since it's SMCQC's college fair but he won't permit me, dapat daw kasama ko sya. So un, ang daya. HAHA. pero okay lang, kung san sya masaya. And wala rin akong pera pala. =)))))

8 is nearly approaching, 3 months down. But after that, he'll be heading to tarlac for the whole xmas vacation. So, mga 3 weeks kami hindi magkikita. It's fine pero everytime he''s there kasi he doesn't even bother texting kaya mamimiss ko sya. haha. Sana lang magtext sya once in a while. Saka sana behave. haha. =p

Me? i don't what i'll be busy about this vacation. It's just plain boring. Oh well. Sana may pagkaabalahan naman akong maganda ganda. Yung kaaning aning. =p

i love motorcycle rides (:

2008-11-25T20:06:00.001+08:00

Myko's dad just got a new one, and we've been "road tripping" (right term?) for 2 days now. :)))) though, short range lang. ;) wala eh, enjoy ako! Share ko lang. :P

Fart's Beerday Bash!

2008-11-23T12:54:00.002+08:00

It was super enjoy. The session started by 4:30 eh alam ko dapat 2 pm. HAHA. Filipino time! Walang tipid sa alcohol. To the max. HAHA. Isang Empe, 3 GSM blue at isang case ng redhorse. :))) So yeah, tinamaan ako. Parati naman.

Pwede lang ako hangang 9 pero umuwi ako ng 10 kasi nageenjoy pa ko. Ang pasaway ko hindi ba? :))) Tapos eto pa, i was wearing this HERCULES sandals.. haha. ung puro strings! eh, buset, natatanggal parati. So habang naglalakad kme, parang nakapaa nlng ako. xD Tapos dun sa terrace, eh umupo ako dun sa rails, Yea, gusto ko na nga malaglag eh. HAHA. tas si myko parang hinila nya ko para bumaba dun, tumama ako dun sa cement rim? ewan, bsta un sa gilid. SO it hurts up to now.

Ako ay nasermonan, but it's okay. I deserve the sermon. And my mom's even gonna talk to myko tomorrow, and papagalitan daw nya. Lagi nlng si myko nabeblame sa lahat ng kagagahan ko. :| Pero He'll carry on. He loves me naman. ;)

Plurk!

2008-11-16T22:56:00.003+08:00

I have my Plurk na.

& i just wanna share that the Letter "V" on my keyboard is just scotched tape. Well, Idk. I know it's detachable, but it won't get back to it's place.Err. Now it's a difficulty pressing it. :| Suckiy letter V much..

And i'll have my check-up tomorrow, regarding my high blood pressure.. It's been ages na since i had my last doctor appointment. :)

Facebook free advertisement

2008-11-16T21:19:00.002+08:00

Naaaliw ako sa facebook. At since nagloloko na rin ang friendster, parang gusto ko na talaga iwanan. So i'm encouraging you to just join facebook. Ang cool eh. It's not the typical social network na pawang desperate magkaron ng friends lahat ng tao. :|

At walang ibang keberlu. Simple lang, very basic pa. Hoho. Only your friends can view your profile. Privacy dba. :)

Aning lang ako. :) Facebook nalang. Tapos ang dali mag search, kasi ung names, real names. so ayon. sana wala ng bumaboy sa facebook na mga cheap na nilalang na kung ano ano pangalan sa social net profiles nila. :| (no offense)

11-14 & 15

2008-11-15T21:46:00.003+08:00

Hehe, Birthday ni Don Nels kahapon. So ayun, Happy happy. =D Bonding Bonding. Hahaha. Super Laughtrip! Grbe, sumakit tyan ko. HAHA.

Kanina, kasama ko ulit sya. :D landian! haha.

ang ganda ko dyan. :))))

Pseudo-relationships

2008-11-15T18:50:00.003+08:00

I saw this one article on someone else's blog. :) (http://rebelliouschiq.blogspot.com/)

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya… almost, but not quite.

Parang KAME lang dati ah! haha.
pero fortunately, ung pseudo relationship namen, eh may pinatunguhan. :)
And aaminin ko, sobrang hirap talaga nun.
Sa tingin ko, luck lang tlga, and tatag ng both halves.
Pero kung hindi nyo kaya magtyaga at magantay ng syamsyam, wala tlgang magandang patutunguhan. :)

High BP ako!

2008-11-13T20:25:00.001+08:00

Haha. Gusto ko lang ishare na ang taas ng blood pressure ko. Normal is 120/80.. Aken, 180/110.
So ano yun. =))) malapit na kong mamatay. (yuck, exagg na.)

MhalKt.

2008-11-12T23:35:00.002+08:00

Hon, i just can't see myself without you. Even thinking of it tends to get my eyes all flood up. ;)

Untitled

2008-11-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

I'm not really good at titles. (<-- weh, ang cute nung kolur. haha.)

There was this dog show held at school, it's not convincing, it's boring. Though some of the dogs were cute, but there weren't anything exciting. I thought i'd join one of my pets, but they just can't. My shit-zu, "ginger" is like 6 years old now, and she's losing a lot of hair and smells really bad. She had this disease that ruined it all, she was once so adorable. ;) And paprika is a mixed breed (askal na pinaganda) haha. So, feeling ko mejo shame. And he's so mischievous! :P

Wala lang, shinare ko lang and story ng mga aso ko. :))

She kissed a dog!

2008-11-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

i've known this vid for some time already, and i thought i'd share it.
It's gross and funny. :D Haha. Watch it. Enjoy. :P

Stop it emo!

2008-11-11T22:33:00.002+08:00

I know i was emo in the last post. Minsan lang, pagbigyan na. K?

I wanna have something to be busy about. Yung tipong, i'd be so busy. My life is boring me. It simply gets worse everyday. I just hope, not.

I'm sort of feeling like a pessimist now, but just a while ago, i thought of these wonderful possitive things again, so friends, don't worry. I'll be fine. :)

-- and in case i can't afford to be one, I'd still strive to. =D

"i love you more!"
- ang nireply sakin ni myko nung nagreklamo ako dahil loveyoutoo lang ang sagot nya sa "iloveyousomuch" ko. HAHA. at mukhang napilitan pa sya. Haha. Sharing.

Myko.

2008-11-11T21:51:00.003+08:00

Wala lang.

Gazillion things are currently running through my mind and i'm all fed up of this "what if's" and "mights".. I'm just so confused and worried about what my future would turn out to be. Yes, this is another blog about me and my life (which i meant was myko) hhe.

After all the realizations i did for the past days or maybe weeks, I'm still in this in-doubt moment of what i really want to do and how i want everything to become. I may sound weird and all, but you wouldn't even understand no matter how i tell you, cause simply, you're not in my shoes.

I've been undergoing through this weird moments wherein the whole world just stops for some time and it kinda gives me this moment to think about everything. And whenever i "think", i suffer through this unexplainable and unbearable feeling. Sometimes i just wanna cry or burst out laughing but the bottomline is, i have no reason to do so.

I'm not mentally ill or anything, but it seems that my happy momentums are about to end, and time passes very quickly, im still not prepared to let go of the memories i've experienced and still want to continue collecting more.

I maybe too young too say this now, but all i want and all i need to be secure and happy for as the moment, is the ASSURANCE that he'll be with me through thick and thin, through near or far, through all of there obstacles in life. He's all i ever wanted all this time, and i just can't afford to lose him.

BOTTOMLINE?

Take everything away from me, just not him. Seriously.

Sunday Bonding.

2008-11-09T19:19:00.002+08:00

Because we weren't together from tuesday to wednesday parang binawi ko lang. :)) from thursday onwards until today, consistent and straight (except na lang mga uwian) magksma kme. :P

I would like to congratulate DARLENE for being an ate nanaman :D whew, responsibilities! :)))

Tomorrow is monday. And I hate mondays. I'll be competing for the Grammar Quiz whatever on 19 and for the powerpoint presentation as well. :) wish me luck. It would be better if i'll be the one for competing for the essay writing nalang eh. :| I really wanted that! I guess my english teacher haven't read my essays yet, since we don't do those on her subject. Hoho!

My tummy grows bigger everyday. HAHA! Lol, it's not because i'm pregnant, the reason is simply alcohol. Haha. I think.. Or larger appetite i guess?

ALL HAIL THE BIG TUMMY. HAHAHAHAHA. YUCK.

Sharing

2008-11-05T23:07:00.002+08:00

Before i go to bed, i have this two realizations to share.

One. Gustong gusto ko katext ang boyfriend ko kapag lasing sya. :) Why? Sobrang sweet nya. Hehe, super kilig to the bones. And diba, puro truth? I just love him.

Two.

Man, Being pessimistic will get you nowhere. Look at all possible bright sides of every image. I'm not referring to a particular person, but.. You see, i've been NOT WANTING a relaionship for a long time, i wasn't even looking or finding one. Love is nowhere to be searched for. It would be found and discovered right then and there. You shouldn't hurry. I know i'm just too young to say this, but i think i know what i'm talking about. Just have fun and not think of it, and one surprising day, when you already forgot about all the hurt and all the negativity it once brought, you'd notice it knocking by your doorstep. OVER AGAIN. :)

I'm so inspired and so inlove. :)

Goodnight.

Plainly into each :)

2008-11-05T21:15:00.002+08:00

Since it's english month, i'll blog in english. :)

Haha. anong sasabhin ko? :| LOL.

First, i'm still as usual missing him like hell even though i just saw him last monday. My "missing" span is just so short. I hate missing someone, It's like a punishment. I'm not used to seeing myself without him in class, in the canteen, in the hallway and even on the way home. Sobbing much? I'll probably see him tomorrow. ^^ *jumps for joy*

Today was normal. I got highest in social. Hoora! 56/70 and to think, i didn't review my lessons. Hoho. I just copied. Lol. I'm kinda sleepy but i don't wanna go to sleep yet. I'm still not satisfied with today's stuffs and happenings. Ain't contented with the "common" experience and dilemmas faced. :)

I'm stressed, all fucked up, damned, and dead.

--but still smiling. :)

My BURT-day Story

2008-11-02T13:51:00.003+08:00

10-29. It wasn't really a BIRTHday, it was a BURT-day instead. (Burt, because my boyfriend's second name is BURT. hhe.) I was with him all through out the day. We didn't have anything to do, we've got empty pockets, but we still managed to have some fun all bcos we're together. *aww*

We were supposed to attend the first mass of the day here at our subd. But we arrived at the church halfway through it. :| (that's a great way to start your burtday! haha.) After the mass we just went off and lighted candles. :) Chikahan, and walked home. We stayed at my place. Landian. HAHA. xD

After Eating lunch, we decided to go to their place. Ang saya saya namen dun, haha. Ang gulo gulo! :))) Minasage ko sya yung tipong inaapakan mo yung likod nya. :)) hindi na nga raw makahinga eh. Cruel! haha. tapos we ended up sleeping lang. Natulog lang kami. Lol. Pag gising umalis na and went to dau to meet my lola there. We ate at greenwhich at andame kong nakaen. Home mga 8-8:30 pm.

That's the last time i saw him. Kasi nasa tarlac sya ngayon eh. Until Nov 6. :( Ang tagal diba. Err. I miss him like hell already. But we might see each other tomorrow. :P

S to the H to the O to the T

2008-10-26T11:09:00.002+08:00

Lol. must love the title of this post. :))) S to the H to the O to the T.

United nations was fine. Represented SAUDI ARABIA. Very different from all the others. Grabe. Super Balot. Wala yata kaming pictures eh. Sad. HAHA.

tinatamad n ko.. haha. nextme. xD

Manila trip

2008-10-20T21:20:00.002+08:00

Ang dakila kong boyfriend at ako with mhe, went to manila last saturday for my friends there. Only few came, but happy still cos foxy was there. :) It was so x-timing kasi exams na nila ngayong week and only some of them were permitted by their parents. So ayun, not as fun as before but fun in the way kasi i missed them like hell. :D I even go to arbor Ross' Cap and Rob's Halfshuts. :P

Super haba ng story. We arrived there mga 10 30 am na and went straight to kyla's pad. Keean/kian was sooooooooo.. FAT. :)) haha. Tapos nagswim kami sa st.charbel.

Bsta bottomline is, I'm happy because i got to bond with myko and my missed friends. :D
--&& mhe. (lola co. :)

ILOVETHEMSO.

Happenings

2008-10-16T22:45:00.004+08:00

It was Our First ever monthsary last october 8. :) It was simple. An ordinary day with a little more sweetness. I really waited for 12 am the day before but eventually i fell asleep and luckily, i woke up by 2 am and greeted him. :) Thoughtful much.

And the day before that (October 7), Selected dancers from our club were to dance at the Museo ning Angeles. There was this occasion wherein diff private schools bond. HAHA. Bonding. So, there was i, i was selected. Hoho. It was fun and my dakilang bf was there because i forced him. He's not really into watching me perform. It was his first time to watch. Sucky. Then off we went to eat our late dinner. Got home by 9 pm. It was our advance celebration :)))) LOL.

October 10 was his birthday.. That week was really a thriller. The events were consistently coming! Tiring but fun. :) I didn't go to school early cause i wanted to surprise him. He, himself didn't also attend our morning classes but i wasn't with him until i told him to meet me. First i bought him 3 mini cakes which i scattered all over his face (later part of the story) and i printed the photo mosaic i made :) He was *i think* a little touched. He's not really into kilig and stuff. We went to school by lunch time cause there was this program in the afternoon. Hoho. Next was in Flores/Fart's Place. :) Celebration. I shouldn't elaborate all the stuff kasi, mahaba. :))) Pero fun. I scattered the cake all over his face haha. tapos his friends signed the back of the frame where the mosaic was in. Parang kasal. xD I was so happy though i know naging pabigat ako sa knya that night. Pero i proved something eh. And i was even crying nun! HAHA. Secret. :)

Tapos today, he got sick. So I went to his house before i went to school to bring him medicine. Ang thoughful ko diba. Kasi the night before sbi nya walang gamot dun. And his Lola was very accomodating na. :) haha. And before i went home, dinaanan ko din sya. Pwede na kong caregiver. :) Ngayon lang ako naging ganito. :D Love Love :)

Patikim

2008-10-14T21:50:00.002+08:00

Weh, tagal ah. HAHA. Super daming kwento.

Pero bago ang lahat gusto ko lang ishare na may pasa ako sa bandang singit. Both sides. HAHA. why? Kasi nung inangkas ako ni fart sa bike.. HAHAHA. ang likot likot ko. With matching sigaw and everything pa yun. Bakit nga pala nya ako inangkas? Sinundo namin ang dakila kong boyfriend. HAHA.

Ang dami kong kwento. Kakatapos lang ng First monthsary namin at 16th birthday ni Myko. ;) Marameng nangyre. Nung monthsary, Nothing much. HAHA. Pero nung birthday nya nisuprise ko sya ng 3 mini cake at isang photomosaic. ;)

Next time, promise. ;) HAHAHA bb.

Mga wala mgwa. xD

2008-10-05T11:36:00.003+08:00

1. Are you currently in a relationship?

- Yea.

2. Have you ever been given a rose?

- Naman! HAHA.

4. Have you ever been in love?

- HALLER? xD

5. Do you believe that everyone has a

soul-mate?

- Eh panu ung mga pari? HAHA.

6. What's/Who is your current problem?

- Refer to the recent blog post. ;)

7. Have you ever had your heart broken?

- Oo naman.

9. Have you ever seen a friend as more

than a friend?

- My best friends are more than just friends! HAHA. ;P

10. Do you believe on the statement

"once a cheater always a cheater"?

- Nope. I once cheated, but im not always a cheater hAHHA.

11. How many kids do you want to have?

-Kahit ilan. the more the merrier. ;) bsta ba mayaman

12. What is/are your favorite color(s)?

- RAINBOW. ;)

13. Do you believe you only love once?

- nope.

14. are you and your ex friends?

- nope. ang hirap nun. ;|

15. 5 things inside your BAG:

- damit, supot, perfume, papel, bolpen. HAHA.

16. at what age did you start liking

the opposite sex?

- daycare palang ako may crush na ko!

17. what song do u want to be played

at your wedding?

- wala pa co alam naun..

18. Do you like anyone right now?

-Love. Oye.

Good Day Or Bad One?

2008-10-05T08:17:00.002+08:00

First of all, we won champion at Mimosa cheerdance competition. We were overjoyed. ;)

But I have this thing bothering me, He IS SOOOOOO COLD!!! Why? That, i don't know. He won't tell me, and it keeps me wondering about it ALL the fuckin time! The night before i argued with him for not telling me where he was since it was late na.. Syempre, it would be pissing me off kasi i'm his GF, duh? I should know. :| Bf have obligations too, right? When he smsed me, i only replied with very dry atmosphere. (grmr? HAHA) Tapos, he started getting pissed and telling me i'm always arguing with him.. MERON AKONG DAHILAN!! hello? I just shut the hell up and let him did the talking. I thought he was only tired.. but the next day.. HE WAS SOOOOOO DRY! I really wanted to cry but i was with my friends.. :| He didn't even want to reply to my messages, He didn't wanna come to see me.. He didn't even want to tell me what's wrong! So how the hell am i suppose to understand him? It was freakish. And up to now, He's still acting like it. :|

I Just wanna SOB.

wala lang. xD

2008-10-01T10:21:00.002+08:00

1) If you got a tattoo, where would you want it?

>Sa Pusod. Nakapalibot. :)) Like.. Sun? xD

2) If you HAD to dye your hair what color would it be?

>The color i once dyed it into. Ash Blonde. ;) Okaya ung brown na mala green na blonde. xD

3) If you HAD to get a piercing (THAT ISN'T YOUR EARS) what would you pierce?

> Belly button

4) If you HAD to change your name, what new name would you choose?

>Schinina. HAHA.

The "WOULD YOU?" section:

1) Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships?

>depende. Love one person. HAHA. masaya kasi nagfofoolaround. ;)

2) Would you move anywhere else if you could?

>Ye!

3) If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you go?

>NAMAN!

4) If you were given 10 billion dollars to keep, what would you do?

>i'll deposit 80% sa bank. Donate 1 billion. And give my parents 500m, and mine ung 500. :)))

The "LETS SAY" section:

1.)Lets say you had to eat a live tarantula for $1,000....

>hmm. Cge!! =))) mukhang gago. poisonous ba un?

2.)Lets say you could star in any movie (made or in the works) what movie?

>titanic. ako ung bida. haha.

The "OTHER STUFF" section:

What makes your bedroom unique?

>black flooring. HAHA.

Whats your favorite season of the year?

>summer. ;)

Do you like cheese?

>Hindi eh.

The "THE 2008" section:

1.)Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?

>feeling ko hindi. ;)

2.)Anything exciting happening this year?

>yep. ;) LOTS!

3.Have you been involved with the police this year?

>nope. :P

4.)Are your best friends still your best friends?

>some. ;)

5.)Got any tattoos or piercings this year?

>nope. :P

6.)Had a haircut yet this year?

>Yea, bongga.

7.)Been in a hospital this year?

>ye. but not confined. HAHA.

8.)Lost someone you cared about this year?

>Yes. :|

9.)are you hungry?

>Just ate. xD

Shades with built-in blinds. =D

2008-09-28T20:52:00.002+08:00

Yea, shutter shades.
You won't believe it, but history repeats itself. Shutter shades were once trendy late 80's. :D

Brownout date :)

2008-09-28T20:39:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, Myko and I went out. Why? kasi sbi, magbabrownout daw from 7 am to 6 pm. So we thought to ourselves.. "what the hell am i gonna do?" Lol. So he asked me if i wanted to go out and stuff though we don't really have bucks. Hha.

We went to Sm Clark to watch a movie. Actually, wala kaming alam so we ended up watching I.T.A.L.Y. he didn't know na it was a filipino film when he found out, super nabaduyan sya. Well, totoo naman kasi na almost ALL filipino films are redundant in story and BADUY. But ITALY was quiet good.. --and funny.

After that, we were so hungry na. So we ate. Then went home na. ;) I got home by 7 pero 6 was my given time to go home. It wasn't my fault that twas traffic. We flew off there by 5:40 naman. ;)

mejo palya tong shot na to. :)))

hihi, ang cute nya dito. :))

for dee

2008-09-26T22:41:00.001+08:00

darlene will laugh when she sees this. :)))

sabi ko kasi "fart picture tayo, ung mukhang tanga!" HAHAHA.

Powder fight!

2008-09-26T22:28:00.002+08:00

Twas lunch time when i saw this loose powder bottle with lotsa content. Haha. i was so in the mood to horse around, and i slapped myko's face with powder all over my hands. =D Next thing i knew we were in this foolish powder fight throwing and squeezing the powder bottle onto each other. Until i thought i'd throw it all over his BLACK pants. :))) It was his only black pants since the other 4 were all ruined. Such a messy boy. Haha! The powder was all over it! So he told me, he won't go to school the next day due to the powder stuff. :| I become pissed. Yea. Didn't talk to him the whole lunch period. Haha. Tho kinikilig naman ako kasi nilalambing nya ko mehn. =D

See this pictures. :)

Eto, during the powder fight. :)))

not good at titles ;)

2008-09-24T21:31:00.002+08:00

I love david a's Crush. ;) (ung song!) haha. This should've been my song for myko before, sorry na lang, hindi ko pa sya alam noon.

Crush - David Archuleta

Okay, that was so yesterday, he's mine now. =D though, i myself never expected we'd end up like this. twas kinda weird but im thankful tho. ;)

bigla ako nawala sa mood mag blog. haha. next tym nln. ;}

Stucked

2008-09-23T02:38:00.003+08:00

Im all stucked in our home. :| I'm sooo not permitted to go out, even just to got to my friend's pad. So suckiy. Im wasting the 2 day typhoon nina-holiday. Thanks to my name, im so bored.

I've been missing him so badly that's why i asked him if he wanted to go here knina. And he did. xD My mom almost got mad at me nanaman for not following her instructions. :| Eh, KJ kaya. I thought classes will be resumed tomorrow (or today since it's 2:41 am) but i was wrong. I wonder what im gonna do. I'm so effin bored here. I wanna go out. Or maybe just see him ^^

Lol. Insane enuff? I'm sleepy.

dahil bored aco.

2008-09-23T00:34:00.003+08:00

1)Some random girl comes up to you and says "who the hell are you?" what do you say?

* "like i know you?" haha.

2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?

* food? HAHA. xD

3) What does your last incoming text message say?

* twas a groupie from bopek. ;)

4) The last song you listened to?

* better in time - LeonaLewis

5) Are you in love?

* obyus? =D

6) Where is your girlfriend/boyfriend?

* nasa kanila.

7) What did you do yesterday?

* nagpakababad sa internet.

8) Who was the last person that helped you stop crying?

* julian p. Hha. sbi nya pa "wag ka nga ganyan nakakahiya ka" yea, it helped A LOT. lol.

9) What teacher(s) have you hated most and why?

* sa ngayon, wala na naman. ayoko lang pag napapansin nila na wala ako sa classroom. Hha.

12) What do you really think happened to Steve on Blues Clues?

* baka nabuntis nya si Blue! (fyi, babae si blue. :P)

13) Who is your most religous friend?

* sino? HAHA.

15) Who do you trust most with your life?

* parents and very close friends.

16) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?

* dadagdagan ko lang. ;) "schinina" weh. xD okaya im happy na sa name co. or i want names with two letter acronyms. e.g. aj. xD

17) What would you say if someone told you they loved you?

* depends on the person..

18) What do you hate about your school?

* bulok? Hha.

21) Would you have sex before Marriage?

* why ask such question? :P

22) Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?

* yup. ganun kasaya ang sun. HAHA.

25) Are you afraid of falling in love?

* i was. but i just did.

26) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?

* guess who!

35) What is your middle initial?

* E.

36) Honestly, what's on your mind right now?

* it's WHO. ;)

37) If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?

* secret. Hha.

39) What did you wear today?

* shorts and shirt.

40) Righty or Lefty?

* Right. Cos im always right. xD

41) Have your parents ever been disapointed in you?

* yup, and recent lang kaya they won't permit me goin out and stuff. :|

42) Favorite color?

* blue,yellow,green.

43) Favorite juice?

* buko. :P

44) Have you had the chicken pox?

* yea. Prep.

45) Ever had plastic surgery?

* Hha. As if?

46) Who knows you the best?

* God and myself.

47) Did you buy something yesterday?

* nope.

48) Did you get sick today?

* naah..

49) Did you miss anyone today?

* yea, but i got to see him. :P

50) Did you get in a fight with someone today?

* almost. :|

51) Last person to lay in your bed besides you?

* Kyle,bro co.

52) Last person to see you cry?

* Julian! HAHA.

Myko went here today and we bonded. Hha. I missed him like hell. Pero bago sya natulog we kinda argued. :| bkit? kasi pikon ako. HAHA. i can't sleep. I took a nap by 6 and woke up by 9. Suckiy. :)

panic!

2008-09-20T00:07:00.003+08:00

Today is random. Everyday's random but today's much more. Everyone was required to go to school wearing pants and class shirts. It's for the awarding (the very late awarding) held this morning. I received two medals, silver and bronze. Should've done better for the gold eh?

As expected, Myko didn't attend the morning sessions. Even if he promised me he would. It was fine though, i expected it would be broken in the first place, and it wasn't anything ~~major~~. He was supposed to be there cause Barcelona won 3rd for badminton doubles boys and he was one of the players. We had a proxy nalang.

I didn't thought he would go to school pa. Kasi i know him. Tamad sa lahat ng tamad. Then by lunch time, i saw him. Twas a bit awkward cos we just fought the night before and he was really cold that night. But it turned out alright.

I was so... nervous. Why? It was due to my absence in ma'am ginny's class. I cut class. Instead of staying inside the classroom and waited for her because we had our 4-5pm sched class yesterday, i just stayed with my friends. I was really in a bad mood then. Yesterday isn't made for me, it wasn't my day. All the bad luck in the world was cursed unto me. (exagg!) I cried twice. Same reason, same person. ;) Though it wasn't really good, i proved something and that just made me joyous. Back to the topic, ma'am ginny got mad at me knowing i wasn't present and Myko as well, but we weren't together that time. Kasi war kami nun. Kanina, she saw me.. and she pointed at me telling me "wag ka na papasok sa subject ko!". I was like.. "ma'am bakit?" Haha. She just turned her back on me and continued walking.

At dahil pala war kami ni Myko kahapon, I wasn't calm while i was with friends. So what i did was i bought credits using my LAST 30 bucks. As in i have no money for fare na. I called him up. Still not convinced and contented that "that" was enough, i went to his place. I just can't see myself thinking about him while we're in WAR mode. I tend to get my eyes filled. When i arrived there, we talked and was "okay." My mom even called him up while we were in the tricycol. And when we arrived at my pad, it was libre sermon. :))) And that night, we fought again. And he made me cry like hell. (But he didn't know)
I am very happy today. I really felt the love i really wanted to feel in the first place. Though i got a little too paranoid just a while ago, i'm very much satisfied now and calm. Why? Cos he was out with his friends and promised me to be home before 9 pm. Actually, that was originally 8 pm but i think i'm being a little too kill joy, so i told him up to 9 would be enough time. They bonded and got somewhat drunk. I was home, lying on the sofa, sleeping. It wasn't consistent though. He flew away from his friend's pad by 9:30 and i got dissapointed, ofcourse. He phone has empty battery, so i just waited for him to text me when he gets home. Hours passed still no anything. I've been trying to call him but all i get was operator chorvas. Until 11 striked and i decided to sms his lola. Good thing i asked him her number before we went separate ways. I asked her if he's home already. She said he wasn't and that's when things got a little steamy and i started panicing. I was so paranoid. I was texting his friends and asked them if he was still with them.. I think i was a little over acting but it was reasonable mehn. Just now, 12 am.. He messaged me on YM. i was so glad. I was so relieved. Cos i've been thinking about him all the fuckin time. And I was so worried. All he did was said sorry. And i felt he really was. I didn't bother to get mad at him anymore cos nothing good would happen anyway. So i just got myself to understand the situation. And i'm just so happy. :)

BTW, we took lots of pictures knina. :D
(here are some)

SA CORRIDOR

cute ako dito. haha.

one emo day

2008-09-18T23:20:00.002+08:00

dalawang beses ako umiyak ngayong araw na to. at naprove ko sa sarili ko na ayoko tlga at di ko kayang mawala sya sakin. for real.

insanely all over him

2008-09-17T21:30:00.002+08:00

My belief of love was once ruined until.. i fell for this boy entirely. ;) i just hope that my belief won't be all ruined and messed up again. Maybe there will be the time for me to be torn again but i guess not to be a non-believer again. Yes, i took the risk,another time. And even if i'll hurt for the hundredth time, I'll take more risks. Over and over again. :)

Mahal ko sya, that's all i know. Side stories are not to affect what is mainly felt. Issues are to be ignored. Feelings are to be felt and expressed and that's what im actually doing. I'm living and loving to the fullest so in the end there would be nothing, nothing to be regretted.

I'm entirely into him and it's sort of insane. I notice every simple little thing he does. I fall inlove with the smallest gestures of affection. I'm all over the love stuff.

missed out happenings

2008-09-12T00:40:00.002+08:00

The week before intrams, was very joyous. Why? Eh feel k lang. :| I've been going home late kasi lagi kami bumabonding sa pad nila julian. ;)

Eh mas lalo na ngaung intrams. ;) Kami na (08) , at masaya ako. Minsan hindi mo mafeel kung seryoso ba talaga sya tska ka mapapaisip but at the end of the day, only one thing matters at un ung mahal mo sya. Napakaraming revelation at shocking. Pero hindi ko na sasabihin dito kasi hindi tungkol sa kanya. :| Siguro alam ni darlene to. =))))

All out ang efforts ko sa pagcheer sa barce. I so love my section. Im just so dissapointed sa pagkatalo namin sa basketball. Hoho. Isisi niyo yan kay... HAHA. joke lang. ;) Bukas ay championship na ng Soccer. Barce vs. tilburg. At OBVIOUSLY tilburg has the advantage dahil magagaling ang players nila, hindi naman sa hindi magagaling ang sa barce, Pero mas sila. Pero bilog ang bola and you'll never know. Right? =D

Nagmessage ako kay ano sa friendster at ginreet syang goodluck. hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ginawa yun. =)))) Bigla ko lang naisipan. Sobrang hindi ko alam ung mafeefeel ko nung nalaman ko ung "thing" na un, pero fault rin naman nya na eh.

Sapatos o Tsinelas?

Ako tsinelas. Bakit? Comfortamble. At kahit saan ka pa, tsinelas pwede na! Simple.

Moral Lesson?

Kahit gaano kaganda at mahal ang sapatos mo, paguwi mo, ano suot mo? TSINELAS.
Kahit gaano kabago ang sapatos mo, pag sumakit ang paa mo saan ka babagsak? TSINELAS.
Kahit gaano mo pa katagal suot ang sapatos mo, pag napagod na ang mga paa mo san ka? TSINELAS.

Parang tao, kahit na sino pa ang samahan at magustuhan mo, sa huli, babalik ka pa rin sa MAHAL MO. ;)

7eleven

2008-09-05T22:13:00.001+08:00

picture sa 7eleven.=))

:)

2008-09-05T21:43:00.004+08:00

Wala lang. =))) yesterday, we went to a friend's pad. Bondingan. Happy as ever. Priceless. ;) Got home by 7:30 and my mom even got mad. Samantalang nagpaalam naman ako na 7 ako uuwe. Lol. Ang gulo.

Tapos kanina halos wala naman kaming ginawa. So nakatambay lang ako sa elem premises. Hha. Volleyball and badminton and nakisali sa juniors cheering. Nakinuod lang ako. ;) Here's the thrill, naiwan ko ang bag ko sa classroom. At nilock nila. Hoho. Bad. Habang hinahanap ko sila ma'am michelle at sila jester, pagakyat ko nakita ko nalang si myko palabas ng bintana dala ung bag ko. Haha. ;) Saviour. Dumaan sya sa bintana ng rome para mkpasok sa room namin. Hha. Touch. ;)

Gusto mo, pero.

2008-09-01T21:47:00.002+08:00

iniisip ko pa kng magbablog ba ko eh. naiiyak ako ngayon! =(( fuck life. BAKIT GANUN? Kung kelan akala mo lahat okay na saka magbebreak down lahat sa harapan mo. Talagang kailangan ganon? It hurts like hell mehn!

Gusto mo umiyak pero sadyang ayaw mong mawalan ng lakas ng loob. Gusto mo pa ipaglaban kahit na kitang kita mo nang walang pag-asa. Gusto mo magantay kahit alam mong nagaantay ka lang sa wala. Bakit kasi SAKANYA pa?

Di ko ba deserve yung mga taong mahal ko? :|

**minsan, mapapaisip ka talaga.

victory snapshots

2008-08-31T12:05:00.001+08:00

Victory blurry pictures. :)))

CHAMPION!

2008-08-31T00:28:00.002+08:00

PAC is so Groovin it! =)))))

We won champion @ Sm Cheerdance interschool competition. :D Nahakot namin lahat. As in. Largest contingent, Best team captain, Best in uniform and Champion. :D Selfish much! Dont wanna brag but im so proud! =))) (pictures nextime. :)

Secret namin? We prayed. Nagvisit pa kmi sa carmelite nung morning. Hard-work at magagaling na moderator at choreos. :D

Mangiyakngiyak na ko kanina. Solid. =D Everything was worth it. The sermon, excused, sweat, energy, EVERYTHING! :))

VIVA CABALLEROS! =)

aug 28 blogpost

2008-08-31T00:21:00.002+08:00

Late post. xD AUG 28 blog:

Lately, my laptop screwed up and we had to get it reformatted. So we did, good thing the technician saved back up files so i won't have to download my files all over again. Idk what my dad did, bsta when he scanned it, updated the antivirus, it screwed up the next time i switched it on. Hoho.

Cheerdance competition would be on SATURDAY (Aug 30). Caballeros please do watch. Bring your ids for registration. Time of registration is 4-5 pm. We are aiming for the largest contingent award, and of course the champion title. :D PAC practices grew more exhausting and stressful. One, kuya than (our choreo) got mad.. fortunately, i think he forgave us na. Kasi he was really about to give us up. Second, We're so cramming! We haven't put everything in place yet. Steps, Yells, Props, Everything mehn. Practices are up to 9 pm na. Fun but very exhausting talaga. I'm currently not feeling well enough. I think i have sinat and i have colds too.

Deym-it. How would i be able to sing for the solo singing contest on friday? My gawd. I'm so busy. ARTISTA? Lol. joke lang. Pero as if now undecided parin kung ano kakantahin ko. Today is thursday midnight and tomorrow would be friday and im still in total shock about the singing thing. I shouldn't be the one singing.

Papasok lang ako bukas ng half day para mairaos ko na sa morning ang recording ng aking CD. Hhe. Tutal, Lunch onwards practice na namin. Todo todo up to evening. Good luck sakin. Sana hindi ako lagnatin. ;D

Natouch pala ako kahapon (tuesday). Eh kasi nagpractice kami hangang 7:30, ayun, wala lang. Feeling ko hinantay ata ako ni ANO. Hindi actually, usapan kasi namin sabay kami uuwe since akala namin may practice sya. Eh wala pala. So nagantay ata sya. =))) Mejo matagal din un aa. 2 and a half hours? Hhe. Di nya na uulitin un. HAHA. nainip. xD Touch lang ako! Haha. Note to self: He's not serious, don't take everything seriously. Dumb Ass!

Okay Okay. Na dumb ass pa ko. =)))) Much o Love.

Superhu MEHN! :P

2008-08-22T21:14:00.005+08:00

Panay icons aah. Haha. Long time no blog. 2 days? lol. Yesterday was a very "risky" day. Wala lang. Kasi first time ko umuwi ng almost 9 pm. Haha. achievement ko na yun! Went to bon's crib. (:

Masaya naman. Few talks and gaguhanS. Not very much happy with "my" issue, pero, let it be. If it's not meant to be, it won't happen. And i should not expect at the first place cos he did not tell me to and not even making me feel like it. Maybe, just maybe, he's not for me. :P Haha. But let me fool around first if ever. Enjoy enjoy muna. Sabi nga ni bon "masasaktan ka nyan sa hule." Sagot ko? "Okay lang, sa hule pa naman eh." O diba. What a dumb answer mehn. :P

I was happy cause i got to bond with him knowing na it's not really FOR REAL. :D atleast, i thought it was. HAHA. Medyo mahirap din sakin un, pero masaya naman noh! Saka, PLAY WITH FIRE mehn! :)))) Pag napaso ka, Okay lang un. Para may thrill. dubha dubha? :P

kababa :P

sura na! :)))

di naman ako putol..

Par

2008-08-20T21:09:00.000+08:00

Ang dalawa kong PAR. bow.

surprise

2008-08-20T16:15:00.003+08:00

ang landi ni ~~miney~~ minnie mouse. =))) I'm not sad today but not happy as well. I'm kind of frustrated and very very bored.

Kkapasok ko lang ng bhay. wutt. Hha. Si julian at kent kasi nag surprise visit. =))) La lang, nashock ako. tapos chikahan. Pinapnta ba naman si myko. xD so yun. Wala lang. Pumunta lang silang tatlo para asarin ako. Hoho.

Osya, maliligo na ko. haha. nakakhiya d pco nligo. =))))

You always disappoint me.
It’s kind of like our inside joke,
except it’s not funny

Pasa mehn!

2008-08-19T22:22:00.001+08:00

Super pasa mode ang bodei co. Grrr. Sakit pramis.

MEHN MEHN MEHN! =)))))

Lab co darlene. :P hahaha. special mention? Hindi, loko lang un. xD

Practice ;D

2008-08-18T10:33:00.002+08:00

Pawis

2008-08-18T10:10:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAHAA. Pawis mehn. ;D Tagal ko narin hindi nagOnline.

Periodical exams (thursday to Saturday) hindi ako nagreview kahit isang SUBJECT! Stock knowleyj! =))) May ganon kaaaa? Values? Hell. Hha. alam ko wala ata ako nasagot dun. Lalo na sa health! HAHAHA. Panay kopya lang. Lol. Marunong na ko ngayon gago! Sa Health buong clase walang sagot. Siguro kung meron man, 2 items lang! Wala talagang may alam! BLANK. Front to back beybeh.

Nung Saturday at kahapon nag practice kami. Super. Ang sakit ng katawan ko ngayon. =)))) Tapos lunchtime ata nun nung pumunta si Julian may dala syang chuckie for So(bon). Eh dalawa, binigay OR HININGI ko ung isa kay bon. HAHAHA. puta, ang kapal ko. Lol. Natatae na ko nun! HAHAHA. gagi.

Tapos anung oras na un, pmunta sila ni myko dun. Nagpakainip lang sila dun! hahahaha. =))))

Love you? :P

Scholar-wanna be

2008-08-14T20:00:00.002+08:00

I wanna be one. Kasi, ung mate ko, scholar sya and she doesn't pay for anything. :D O diba ang saya ata nun.

Exams nanaman at hindi ako nagrereview. Nakakatamad tapos nangangarap pa ko maging scholar. HHAHA. dream on. Sa school na lang. :|

Sakit ng ulo co. At Medyo namomoblema. ;D Carry lang.

Pake ko?

2008-08-12T22:31:00.002+08:00

Went to SM PAMP Last saturdady and conducted some interview for our proj sa the. ;D Was not as good as i expected. And Some Companies didn't even allow us to. Mejo snobbish. Saka may limitations halos. Wala mang kwenta ung interview. VERY INFORMAL. After that, went to the movies with par. Hoho, Don't Mess with the Zohan. ;D ANG GAGO NUN! haha. Nakakatawa.

Sunday was a very tiresome day. Whole day practice naman. :)) Kinabukasan, My body was super achin. xD Must love dancing. HAHA. Laughtrip kari kuya tan at joykel? joikel? spelling? haha. Bsta super funn. ;D Cartwheel? Nako. Ewan ko bat kung bakit hindi ko nanaman sya magawa. Samantalang nung Friday ba yun, Nagpractice ako, And According to my MOM, straight legs na daw.

Ngayon, every time i attempt to do so, bigla nlng magsasnap legs ko, tapos sobrang sakit. GRRR! FCUK LIFE.

Tapos eto pa, nung monday habang paakyat, kasabay ko si vinka. I was CLUELESS na si ANO nasa likod namin. Tapos humirit si vinka, "Uy nina si ANO oh.." Sabi ko.. "PAKI KO." HAHAHAHA.

Ewan ko kung narinig nya. Hha. Ang cruel ko? Past it past babe.

Chicharon

2008-08-08T23:37:00.002+08:00

Why? Did i have to fall inlove with you? lol. now playing. HAHA.

It's 11 na. And not sleepy yet. Cartwheel thing? Almost there! Feeling co, nagiba ung galaw ko sa sayaw. Parang badtrip. Wala lang. dapat ayusin ko na pag practice. Kasi baka mawala ako dun sa TEN. Wolo long. :|

Medyo Hectic ang sched ko ngayon. Haha. Artista?

Laging Occupied and after-classes hours ko. Tapos Weekends, Practice. Di ko na nga alam kung paano ko isisingit ang PROJECTS. :| Tomorrow, isastrive namin ang THE business ineterview thing.

Yung Chem at social projects wala pang PLANO. Sa 16 na lahat un! :|

Hindi ako pwede sa sunday. Whole day akong wala. Monday? Hindi rin. Practice siguro. At ang next weekends, pasahan na nun! Eh next week test na eh. :|

Shit.

Bakit chicharon ang title? Kasi kumaen kami ng maramng maraming chicharon kanina. Kaya di na ko nagdinner. Tapos uminom pa ko ng 2 boteng soft drinks kaya ang sakit ng sikmura ko. Nabigla siguro. Kasi almost 6 months na ko hindi umiinom ng soft drinks. Haha.

Gago eh. :|

07-08-08

2008-08-07T19:56:00.002+08:00

Ang Lamig. Parang May i-snow. Hha. =D Bukas na ang 08-08-2008 at wala akong boyfriend. =( Eh kasi, promise ko sa sarili ko, sa exactong 08-08-08 mag bbf ako. Hha. Sorry na lang para sakin.

09-09-09 nalang.. Bakit ganun? Unfair. Haha. Tuwing nafafall ako sa isang guy, laging.. "joke". Hha. Sadya ba tlgang hindi tinadhana na mafall ako sa tamang guy? Kasi JOKE lahat eh. Kumbaga, trip lang. HHA. parang gago.

Can I?

2008-08-05T20:21:00.003+08:00

Can i like fall inlove now? Hahaha. Can i? Can I? =D Yuck. desperate. But i think i'm liking someone. Don't ask me who, cause i won't tell. So asking me would just waste you energy and saliva as well. ;) wink,!

We should've practiced for the cheerdance today but kuya than canceled it. LAST MINUTE cancellation eh? Twas sucky kasi gusto ko magpractice. But mas sucky cos i can't do the HELICOPTER thing. I think just so heavy i can't lift myself. I always trip and fall. Lol. So much for overweight people. :| Hha.

I hate it. Even the cartwheel thing, still can't do it. I've stumbled for like a million times now, but still i continue to be so lame. EXAGG! =DDDD

I walked while twas raining, so blame my feet if i get colds. x] Went tambay sa court ng LNS.. and met par there. We strolled around with my very heavy baggage. Suckiy! And now, my feet hurts like hell. Hoho.

nighty tights. =D

model aco. lol.

2008-08-04T19:50:00.000+08:00

wadd you see;; is wadd you get.

julian

2008-08-04T19:45:00.002+08:00

-- is the name of the storm (i think). Thanks to julian classes were suspended. Hoho. Celebrate? ;D

I wanna be inlove again. :| Hha. Desperate much? (hoho. Pd na co sa desperate housewives) lol. Bsta ewan, gusto ko na kiligin ulit. Ang tgal ko na hindi kinikilig gago. xD Same old routine. Laptop buong araw. Hhe. Kaya tumataba nanaman ako eh. Pero ang tagal ko natulog kaninang morning.

I woke up by 6:30 and i've read my schoolmates' messages, So tinry ko matulog ulit. But i failed. So.. i went to my mom's room and we watched CINEMA ONE while she was sleeping. Tapos nakatulog ako. Hanggang almost 12. Hha. tiba tiba. xD

Randomness.

2008-08-03T20:14:00.002+08:00

Gusto ko ng Papa Cologne ;D ; No, i don't like PNE na. They're laos na. :| I miss FREDERICK PINTO kasi ang baho dito. :)))) And also JANN PATRICIA CHUCHAI MISA TORRES.

Gusto ko ng beer pero hindi ako problemado. Haha. Ang laki ng problema eh noh. Oh ayun. May problema na ko. Pwede na? HAHA. Gago.

Bukas Half Day at may practice kami. ;D

ILONG RANGERRRRR!! haha. buong katawan nya ilong. Haha. May ganoon bang nilalang?

Gusto ko ng Bulalo kasi malamig o di kaya'y nilaga. Sarap ng sabaw. Gusto ko pa ng mikmik. Yung powder na nakaka"HIKA" (sabi ni fred) haha.

Sana makapunta na kami ng pamilya ko sa america o di kaya'y sa canada para maging mapayapa na ang pamumuhay namin. Ayoko na dito sa pilipinas. :| Masyadaong magulo at BALAHURA ang mga opisyales.

Pagmamahal? Lovelife? Taena naman. Lagi na lang yan ang tinatanong sakin. Haha. Wala nga eh. Okay? Kasi ang mga kalalakihan na pogi ngayon ay pawang mga BAKLA na. At ang mga natira ay.. WALA NA. Hha. no offense. joke lang. hhi.

WOW PHILIPPINES. TAGALOG PO! :))))

Should not miss you.

2008-08-03T13:01:00.002+08:00

I should not tlga. Hha. Pigilan daw ba? hindi ko naman sya namimiss. Ewan ko. Iba lang ung feeling. Pero indi "miss". Hindi rin Love. Hindi rin Mutual. Hha. Bsta anlabo. Gusto ko sya makausap. Pero, "ano sasabhin ko?" HAHAHAHA. Saka hindi naman matino kausap un. Wala ng sense kausap. Napakaself-centered at lame. :|

smokey

2008-08-03T12:44:00.003+08:00

Smokey Eyes Mehn.

Absentee

2008-08-01T22:43:00.002+08:00

Skipped school today due to the urge of expanding my sleep and also to my achey breakin bodei. Twas very rainy, and ang sarap matulog. Everytime i lie, I fall asleep. Hoho. My classmates got their test on Geometry, and i probably would just take a special exam because i am special. Lol.

My mother did not comment or anything on my absence in school today. I even asked her Yesternight if i could just go to school by lunch (halfday) then she even told me.. Why not rest for the whole day nlng? :)))) Kaya love ko ermat ko eh. Pero I insisted. Sabi ko "eh papasok ako ng lunch.." Pero i ended up having my butt on the bed. lul.

Andame ko nakaen ngayong araw na to.. At very suckiy. Ang appetite ko ay GRABE. Parang gusto ko na kumaen ng tao. I ate..

- CORNED BEEF w/rice
- MILO AND NIDO powder (nagpapak ako.)
- SPAGHETTI
- PIZZA
- KAKANIN
- BULANGLANG w/rice
- OISHI na may rice. HAHAHA. :)))))

TAKAW MUCH? :P